best toddler developmental toys image
Johnny's M
You ask my son (19 months) anything and he says no. Anything. Johnny, are you hungry? NO! Johnny, do you want to watch Elmo? NO! Johnny, give momma a hug. NO! Johnny, pick up your toys. NO!
My question is - how do I discipline him when he tells me no when I ask him to do something, without making him think that him saying no is a big issue?
Like, for example, picking up his toys and him telling me no is obviously wrong. But asking him if he's hungry and him telling me no is not wrong. How do I get him to understand?
Answer
Offer choices. Offering a limited choice is absolutely the best way of avoiding a showdown with your toddler. "Do you want to wear the white shoes or the red shoes today?" "Do you want juice or milk?" "Okay, time to choose! Do you want to put away your blocks or your stuffed animals?" Two choices are enough at this stage, and this technique can be used for everything from getting dressed to solving playdate disputes: "Do you want to play nicely with Timmy, or do you want to play by yourself?"
Counting sometimes works with indecisive toddlers: "I'm going to count to ten and then you choose, or I'll choose for you." Your toddler will likely become decisive once you start the countdown. (Save this counting technique for last resorts because it loses its power if you use it too often.)
Offer the appearance of options. To make this work, you have to keep two important facts in your mind: You know more than your toddler does, and virtually everything can be turned into a choice. Say, "Do you want to get out of the car now or play for two minutes and then get out of the car?" Either way, she gets out of the car. Or say, "Do you want to put your sweater on frontward or backward?" And since you both know she's not going to put her sweater on backward, what you're doing here is using humor to break the tension (and yes, if she calls your bluff, you have to let her wear it backward). Either way, she thinks she has a choice.
Teach your toddler other responses. One of the reasons toddlers say "no" so much is they don't know very many words. Help your toddler expand her vocabulary by turning "no" into a game: "What's the opposite of 'no'?" (That one's easy.) "What comes in between 'no' and 'yes'?" (Maybe, perhaps, and possibly.) "What's a nicer way to say 'no'?" ("No, thank you." If your toddler's very verbal, try, "No, thank you very much, I couldn't possibly.")
You can make a "no" response less automatic (and maybe even get a "yes!") if you set up a situation in advance with a silly question: "What would a bird say if you said, 'Mr. Bird, would you like a worm?'" When your toddler responds with, "Yes!" you follow up with: "And what would you say if I asked you if you'd like a hamburger?" With any luck, by this point your toddler will be giggling too much to rebuff the hamburger.
Use "no" sparingly. Your toddler might be spouting "no"s in part because she constantly hears the word directed at her. If that's the case, try to cut back on your own use of the word and use alternatives to "no" whenever possible. One tactic is to replace the word with other phrases more specific to the situation at hand, like "It's not safe to play on the stairs, let's play with your blocks instead," "We don't hit the kitty," or "Use your indoor voice, please."
Stand your ground. There will be times when, despite your best efforts to avoid or distract, you end up in a showdown with your toddler. If she stops in the middle of the street and refuses to move, for example, you'll move her, and quickly. But safety concerns aren't the only reason to be firm. "A toddler has a will â but she can't always be exerting it all over the place," says developmental psychologist Denham. "It's just too messy."
It's perfectly appropriate at times to say "This is not a time when I can give you a choice. There's no choosing now. I know that you don't like this, and I'm sorry, but this is the way it's going to be." You might even pull rank: "I'm the mommy, that's why."
Offer choices. Offering a limited choice is absolutely the best way of avoiding a showdown with your toddler. "Do you want to wear the white shoes or the red shoes today?" "Do you want juice or milk?" "Okay, time to choose! Do you want to put away your blocks or your stuffed animals?" Two choices are enough at this stage, and this technique can be used for everything from getting dressed to solving playdate disputes: "Do you want to play nicely with Timmy, or do you want to play by yourself?"
Counting sometimes works with indecisive toddlers: "I'm going to count to ten and then you choose, or I'll choose for you." Your toddler will likely become decisive once you start the countdown. (Save this counting technique for last resorts because it loses its power if you use it too often.)
Offer the appearance of options. To make this work, you have to keep two important facts in your mind: You know more than your toddler does, and virtually everything can be turned into a choice. Say, "Do you want to get out of the car now or play for two minutes and then get out of the car?" Either way, she gets out of the car. Or say, "Do you want to put your sweater on frontward or backward?" And since you both know she's not going to put her sweater on backward, what you're doing here is using humor to break the tension (and yes, if she calls your bluff, you have to let her wear it backward). Either way, she thinks she has a choice.
Teach your toddler other responses. One of the reasons toddlers say "no" so much is they don't know very many words. Help your toddler expand her vocabulary by turning "no" into a game: "What's the opposite of 'no'?" (That one's easy.) "What comes in between 'no' and 'yes'?" (Maybe, perhaps, and possibly.) "What's a nicer way to say 'no'?" ("No, thank you." If your toddler's very verbal, try, "No, thank you very much, I couldn't possibly.")
You can make a "no" response less automatic (and maybe even get a "yes!") if you set up a situation in advance with a silly question: "What would a bird say if you said, 'Mr. Bird, would you like a worm?'" When your toddler responds with, "Yes!" you follow up with: "And what would you say if I asked you if you'd like a hamburger?" With any luck, by this point your toddler will be giggling too much to rebuff the hamburger.
Use "no" sparingly. Your toddler might be spouting "no"s in part because she constantly hears the word directed at her. If that's the case, try to cut back on your own use of the word and use alternatives to "no" whenever possible. One tactic is to replace the word with other phrases more specific to the situation at hand, like "It's not safe to play on the stairs, let's play with your blocks instead," "We don't hit the kitty," or "Use your indoor voice, please."
Stand your ground. There will be times when, despite your best efforts to avoid or distract, you end up in a showdown with your toddler. If she stops in the middle of the street and refuses to move, for example, you'll move her, and quickly. But safety concerns aren't the only reason to be firm. "A toddler has a will â but she can't always be exerting it all over the place," says developmental psychologist Denham. "It's just too messy."
It's perfectly appropriate at times to say "This is not a time when I can give you a choice. There's no choosing now. I know that you don't like this, and I'm sorry, but this is the way it's going to be." You might even pull rank: "I'm the mommy, that's why."
what are the best products out right now that can help boost my children developmental skills?
wendy k
I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 9-month old. I have tried Baby Einstein and Baby Genius cd's but they don't prove to be effective. I would like to have highly intelligent, intelluctual children. I would like to know what products are out there that provide what I'm looking for.
Answer
Being "highly intelectuall" Is based on a lot of factors including the right nutrients while their brain is devloping, genetics, and what they are exposed to from birth.
Ex: if you put on a baby einstein video your child is not going to pick up much from it just staring at the tv.
If the parent sits down with the child and points out things in the video then they will get more out of it. I used to for the color van gogh baby einstein, after they showed each color, I would pause the dvd and find objects of that color around the house for my infant to see.
You have to play an active roll in helping your child learn if you don't just want them to pick something up at a casual rate. However try and keep in mind everyone is different, pushing a child to hard to learn when they are not ready is only going to frustrate them and make them dislike learning more. Try to make learning fun and take the cues from your child when its time to give it a rest for the day.
Start by talking to your child ALL the time, sing to him/her, read him books, name everything around the house and what you are doing. "mommy is opening the cabinet and getting out a plate, this is a plate" Spend lots of time with your child.
Get developmental baby toys, NOT electonic ones. These are like watching tv, they entertain the child and do not require to use their brain to explore. Try shape sorters, blocks, large legos, pull along toys, lacing toys, puzzles, etc.
Try getting shape/color flash cards and making games out of them. Pull a card (say circle) and walk around the house together triyng to find toys that are circle.
Or number flash cards and count things around the house. In fact you can count pretty much anything just casually thrown in there while your child is playing with it.
Also try laying a few of the flashcards on the ground and make it a game by having the child find a card for you. (Can you find the cat? can you find the letter D?)
let your child finger paint or use whipped cream and food coloring
Cook together, even little ones like to crack eggs and pour stuff into a bowl.
Color with crayons, or chalk, or draw.
Go outside for walks. Stop to point out different things or smell the flowers. Blow bubbles.
put a word of the day/week on the refrigerator and try and use it with your child all day (it can be any language you wish)
Make and play with puppets.
spend time on the computer together. For infants and toddlers you can buy little keyboards, a mouse and programs, like jumpstart or fisher price, or just let them hit letters on a blank screen in notepad to see what it does.
make bath time fun with bubbles, toys, strainiers, measuring cups, new coffee filters, or ice cubes
make a cardboard box into: a car, a house, a bed, ect. color it and play in it. or take many boxes and stack them like blocks
Hide some toys around a room and ask for help finding them. (help me find all the ducks they ran away. or all the food for my shopping cart)
Put pillows and cushions on the floor for infants to climb on or children to bounce on.
Group items (3 or 4) with one different and have your child pick which is differnent.
Draw faces on paper plates with different emotions. Name them or ask your child to name how the person is feeling. Put on a show for your little on with the faces.
Hide a toy under a cup, mix them up and let them try and find it.
Hide something that plays a long song or noise and have them listen to find it.
Make big Feet out of paper and tape them to a hard floor. Put a letter on each and let them walk down the foot path and read the letters as they go.
Play copycat or simon says
Make a touch bag: fill it with items of different textures (smooth, bumpy, silky, fluffy, rough ect.) infants-rub the items on their hands, feet and cheek. toddlers/young children-have them guess what each item they feel is.
Clap, pat your legs, hit a drum and make simple beats and have your child repeat them.
collect items that go together like a sock and shoe or a spoon and bowl, lay them out and have the child match the items that go together
Whats wrong, get items like a sock and shoe, and book. put the shoe on then the sock or read the book upside down. see if they try and fix whats wrong, if not say "is this how this goes?" "wasnt that silly"
Play peek-a-boo, use a toy and a scarf for a bit of a change, if your baby is older play by leaving the room and re-apearing, for toddlers play hide and seek.
Buy a crawl tunnel or cut a large hole in the box to let infants crawl through.
Provide different sized containers and lids (like tupperware) and let them find which fits where
kids love to rip and crinkle paper. lay them on a sheet of wrapping paper to crinkle or let them experiment ripping and crumpling paper (supervise so they dont eat it)
take a paper bag and make an "underground" home for one of your childs stuffed animals that would live under ground (a fox, rabbit, groundhog, mole ect.) decorate the bag with crayons and markers making the bottom half look like dirt, worms, ect and the top half like grass and ant hill, ect. glue leaves and sticks to the top half. Discuss how and why animals live underground.
play "pigs fly", call out an animal name and have them flap their arms like wings when an animal flies and stop when the animal doesn't.
Ask questions to your child.
pull out the pots and pans as well as whisks and funnels to play with.
Use 2 littler plastic pop bottles as pins and a ball and go bowling.
set up an empty laundry basket and let your kid throw balls of different materials into it (crumpled paper, a sock, etc.)
Being "highly intelectuall" Is based on a lot of factors including the right nutrients while their brain is devloping, genetics, and what they are exposed to from birth.
Ex: if you put on a baby einstein video your child is not going to pick up much from it just staring at the tv.
If the parent sits down with the child and points out things in the video then they will get more out of it. I used to for the color van gogh baby einstein, after they showed each color, I would pause the dvd and find objects of that color around the house for my infant to see.
You have to play an active roll in helping your child learn if you don't just want them to pick something up at a casual rate. However try and keep in mind everyone is different, pushing a child to hard to learn when they are not ready is only going to frustrate them and make them dislike learning more. Try to make learning fun and take the cues from your child when its time to give it a rest for the day.
Start by talking to your child ALL the time, sing to him/her, read him books, name everything around the house and what you are doing. "mommy is opening the cabinet and getting out a plate, this is a plate" Spend lots of time with your child.
Get developmental baby toys, NOT electonic ones. These are like watching tv, they entertain the child and do not require to use their brain to explore. Try shape sorters, blocks, large legos, pull along toys, lacing toys, puzzles, etc.
Try getting shape/color flash cards and making games out of them. Pull a card (say circle) and walk around the house together triyng to find toys that are circle.
Or number flash cards and count things around the house. In fact you can count pretty much anything just casually thrown in there while your child is playing with it.
Also try laying a few of the flashcards on the ground and make it a game by having the child find a card for you. (Can you find the cat? can you find the letter D?)
let your child finger paint or use whipped cream and food coloring
Cook together, even little ones like to crack eggs and pour stuff into a bowl.
Color with crayons, or chalk, or draw.
Go outside for walks. Stop to point out different things or smell the flowers. Blow bubbles.
put a word of the day/week on the refrigerator and try and use it with your child all day (it can be any language you wish)
Make and play with puppets.
spend time on the computer together. For infants and toddlers you can buy little keyboards, a mouse and programs, like jumpstart or fisher price, or just let them hit letters on a blank screen in notepad to see what it does.
make bath time fun with bubbles, toys, strainiers, measuring cups, new coffee filters, or ice cubes
make a cardboard box into: a car, a house, a bed, ect. color it and play in it. or take many boxes and stack them like blocks
Hide some toys around a room and ask for help finding them. (help me find all the ducks they ran away. or all the food for my shopping cart)
Put pillows and cushions on the floor for infants to climb on or children to bounce on.
Group items (3 or 4) with one different and have your child pick which is differnent.
Draw faces on paper plates with different emotions. Name them or ask your child to name how the person is feeling. Put on a show for your little on with the faces.
Hide a toy under a cup, mix them up and let them try and find it.
Hide something that plays a long song or noise and have them listen to find it.
Make big Feet out of paper and tape them to a hard floor. Put a letter on each and let them walk down the foot path and read the letters as they go.
Play copycat or simon says
Make a touch bag: fill it with items of different textures (smooth, bumpy, silky, fluffy, rough ect.) infants-rub the items on their hands, feet and cheek. toddlers/young children-have them guess what each item they feel is.
Clap, pat your legs, hit a drum and make simple beats and have your child repeat them.
collect items that go together like a sock and shoe or a spoon and bowl, lay them out and have the child match the items that go together
Whats wrong, get items like a sock and shoe, and book. put the shoe on then the sock or read the book upside down. see if they try and fix whats wrong, if not say "is this how this goes?" "wasnt that silly"
Play peek-a-boo, use a toy and a scarf for a bit of a change, if your baby is older play by leaving the room and re-apearing, for toddlers play hide and seek.
Buy a crawl tunnel or cut a large hole in the box to let infants crawl through.
Provide different sized containers and lids (like tupperware) and let them find which fits where
kids love to rip and crinkle paper. lay them on a sheet of wrapping paper to crinkle or let them experiment ripping and crumpling paper (supervise so they dont eat it)
take a paper bag and make an "underground" home for one of your childs stuffed animals that would live under ground (a fox, rabbit, groundhog, mole ect.) decorate the bag with crayons and markers making the bottom half look like dirt, worms, ect and the top half like grass and ant hill, ect. glue leaves and sticks to the top half. Discuss how and why animals live underground.
play "pigs fly", call out an animal name and have them flap their arms like wings when an animal flies and stop when the animal doesn't.
Ask questions to your child.
pull out the pots and pans as well as whisks and funnels to play with.
Use 2 littler plastic pop bottles as pins and a ball and go bowling.
set up an empty laundry basket and let your kid throw balls of different materials into it (crumpled paper, a sock, etc.)
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