seriously2
My son will turn three on the 22nd of this month. On or around 02/01/2011 the frequency and intensity of his tantrums dramatically increased. His tantrums rose in frequency from one to two weekly occurrences to five to ten daily occurrences. With this increase in frequency his tantrums have become very violent in the forms of violence being inflicted toward himself, others and objects. This violence mostly occurs in the form of hitting but may also include kicking and head banging. He is also known to throw objects, mainly toys in a fit of tantrum.
Tantrums seem to be triggered by minor irritations. Sometimes it is because he wants his pillow even though his pillow is in his arms. It will be because you accidently brushed up against his pillow. Tantrums have occurred because his finger hurts and he blames whoever his current caregiver is for the pain. He has tantrums because his shirt collar feels funny and will say, âMommy, stop doing that to me.â We will be in a store and he will decide to start having a tantrum saying the same above statement in response to some unknown ailment or imagined occurrence.
Sometimes he is inconsolable but most often he can be calmed down by being physically restrained. All limbs must be restrained and his head must not be able to bang against anything. This can be trying on a caregiver as he is very strong. He has even broken someoneâs nose by thrusting his head back when not restrained properly. The time period of physically restraint depends upon how soon it happens into the tantrum and the intensity of the tantrum that is taking place. This has had to last anywhere from a couple of minutes to close to an hour. There have been times when physical restraint has not helped the situation, sometimes it requires a second or third caregiver to approach him and go through the same process.
I am deeply concerned with these latest developments in my sonâs behavior and feel helpless as to how I can help him. He is supposed to start preschool in the Fall, and as an only child with very limited social interaction, I find this important. My fear is that he will not be able to attend with the attitude and anger issues he now possesses. Family members are finding it difficult to cope within the home and many individuals refuse to go anywhere in public with him. Now, one of his caregivers feels she will no longer to be able to care for him. The concern is also that he may seriously injure himself or someone else.
Before the frequency increased the issue was addressed with his pediatrician who quickly dismissed it and claimed that my son merely has a short fuse. Obviously this is not the behavior other parents would want their child(ren) exposed to, nor something a teacher would be willing to tolerate. Any advice or guidance would be more than appreciated. Thank you.
I have tried leaving him alone but I fear for him seriously injuring himself. He does hurt himself in tantrums and keeps going. He will not always stay in his room and he has broken things and damaged things. I live back at home with my parents, as I am divorced, and it is their home he is damaging.
His dad has chosen not to be in the picture, we are divorced. I am currently living back at home with my parents and sister. So, my son does have a positive male role model, my dad.
The doctor was spoken to on the day it started happening, the first of this month and I mentioned the violence part. I have been keeping a record. The doctor dismissed autism and said that there was absolutely no way he was because of my son's social nature. He is very talkative, entertaining and goofy.
I am working on the play dates, but there are not many children his age in our neighborhood. I have a friend with a nephew his age and we are trying to arrange play dates at least once every other week. H
He does take a tumbling class once a week.
We have not undergone any recent life changes. Things are the same as they have been for the last two years.
Things can get tense with the other family members in the household. My sister is sixteen, and has the attitude and anger of a very mean sixteen year old girl.. She does not have the patience for my son's tantrums and often responds by screaming at me and at him. My dad also gets frustrated and sometimes resorts to yelling when the tantrums are very close together during the day and he is trying to sleep, as he works the midnight shift. My mother is usually very helpful during the tantrums.
Answer
Some children are super-sensitive to external stimuli - they get stressed by too much going on around them. Is this when the tantrums happen with your son?
He does sound extreme, but as a general rule, tantrums should be ignored - don't restrain, don't pin him down, if you are at home just leave the room and let him have his tantrum - he may cry and scream but eventually he will wear himself out. He may bang his head, but that in itself is self-limiting and if he hurts his head, he will remember not to do it next time.
If you want to modify his behaviour, ignore it, walk away (if you are at home), and if he does this elsewhere you can remove him from the situation and take him home.
He is still a very young child who has not yet learned to control his impulses, but if you restrain him he is just getting more and more angry.
If you think your son has psychological problems, take him to a professional, but in my experience, tantrums happen for one or two main reasons .... frustration because the child can't express themselves and/or is overwhelmed (this could be your situation), and tantrums when a child can't get their own way (which doesn't sound like your situation).
EDIT: Does this happen when his blood sugar is low? That could be a factor in this - make sure he gets small snacks frequently if you think it could be connected.
My husband gets stressed and flies off the handle, and it usually means he hasn't eaten! I often think of a toddler having a tantrum, and give him a snack and tell him to go and lie down for a while!
Some children are super-sensitive to external stimuli - they get stressed by too much going on around them. Is this when the tantrums happen with your son?
He does sound extreme, but as a general rule, tantrums should be ignored - don't restrain, don't pin him down, if you are at home just leave the room and let him have his tantrum - he may cry and scream but eventually he will wear himself out. He may bang his head, but that in itself is self-limiting and if he hurts his head, he will remember not to do it next time.
If you want to modify his behaviour, ignore it, walk away (if you are at home), and if he does this elsewhere you can remove him from the situation and take him home.
He is still a very young child who has not yet learned to control his impulses, but if you restrain him he is just getting more and more angry.
If you think your son has psychological problems, take him to a professional, but in my experience, tantrums happen for one or two main reasons .... frustration because the child can't express themselves and/or is overwhelmed (this could be your situation), and tantrums when a child can't get their own way (which doesn't sound like your situation).
EDIT: Does this happen when his blood sugar is low? That could be a factor in this - make sure he gets small snacks frequently if you think it could be connected.
My husband gets stressed and flies off the handle, and it usually means he hasn't eaten! I often think of a toddler having a tantrum, and give him a snack and tell him to go and lie down for a while!
My dog is starting to be rough when she plays-What could be the cause of this?
Ama
I'd first like to say that I am not exactly worried about this-because I can still control my dog and her behavior I'm just curious as to why she has started to be rough when playing. I think it might be because she is getting older and because her instincts might be getting stronger. But I'm not sure so I thought I'd ask here and get others opinions on it.
My dog is roughly 11 months old, she is not spayed yet-I plan on getting her spayed in a few months(due to personal reasons, but don't worry I'm a responsible dog owner and she is never outside alone or around unaltered males.) She is a mixed breed. What she is mixed with I have no clue, the top guess(from her veterinarian and other people that randomly see her) is a Labrador/Border Collie mix. Here's a picture of her; http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/125/d/d/yay_sun_by_piratekit-d3fnqvr.jpg
Basically now when she plays she is rough; when my mother's dog(a shih-tzu) comes over she tries to wrestle with her. She has started wrapping her paw around people's legs when they walk/go up or down stairs. She also has begun to swing her toys around when playing with them. Along with this when my mother's dog is over my dog will randomly snap at the dog's face(not actually make contact, but about an inch away) she doesn't always does this and usually they start playing afterword but this was the first new behavior she showed before the others when playing. Like I said I think it might just be because her instincts are getting stronger but not sure so I thought I'd ask here.
Also-My dog is well exercised, both physically and mentally. We play different mentally stimulating games through out the day and she is taken on two hour long walks daily and she also has an hour of high activity play time mid-day.
My apologies about the length of this question, I tend to get carried away when typing ^^;
@Lilan- thank you for answering, as I said I'm not really worried about it. Just curious as to why she has started to play roughly.
@Nicole- Thanks for your input. I correct her when she plays roughly and when she wraps her paw around people's legs. She doesn't do it often, but when she does I do make sure to correct her on it. The most common behavior(or action) that she displays is swinging her toys quickly back and forth(which is why I thought that might just be instincts)
Answer
Hey - it's the border collie in her, she's a herding dog. You need another herding dog for a playmate because they play different, harder than regular dogs. The snapping is to control - make it move. When herding sheep, they will insensitively bite the ankles.
You should go visit this website to learn more: www.glenhighlandfarm.com
They can tell you more about the breed and have the most fantastic camp where you can put your dog on sheep to try it out and other Border Collie sports. It's all fenced in 178 acres all off leash, streams running through, rabbits and deer to chase, both you and your dog will have a ball. There is also a vacation get-away where you can rent a cabin, motor home or tents but the place is kept spotless, the showers are hot and clean and it's like top notch place. The people that run it is a Border Collie Rescue group, they have the rescues in a well heated barn. During the camp which is only is July they have seminars, sports and great food and entertainment for you, margarita parties in the woods, camp fires - just can't say enough
Anyway your dog is mostly Border Collie and the mental games are important for your dog, they need new games all the time to keep her from getting board, keep her mind active, these collies figure things out on their own too.
I had adopted my border collie from this rescue is how I learned all this. Best dog in the world.
So get another BC friend for her and the playing become accepted. My BC tried to play with other dogs and they wouldn't move so he kept jumping over them and they thought he was crazy.
Shepherds, aussies are also herding dogs.
The biting is when they are young, it comes from excitement too, when I was teaching my dog agility, he was so proud when he completed an apparatus that he would try to bite my wrist out of excitement, I would replace my wrist with a toy and he got it quickly. Anything you teach them they pick up on fast so, if when playing you don't want her to do something, give a correction but remember it's normal for her breed to play this way. You will notice that if she is snapping at the face and you start to run or who ever she is snapping at runs, she is satisfied because she got the result she wanted. You need to watch that if she doesn't have the ability to do what she needs to do (herd and play herding games) she make get over a fence and start chasing bicycles or cars. You need to watch around toddlers too. Anything small or smaller than her will be something she will look to move.
Hey - it's the border collie in her, she's a herding dog. You need another herding dog for a playmate because they play different, harder than regular dogs. The snapping is to control - make it move. When herding sheep, they will insensitively bite the ankles.
You should go visit this website to learn more: www.glenhighlandfarm.com
They can tell you more about the breed and have the most fantastic camp where you can put your dog on sheep to try it out and other Border Collie sports. It's all fenced in 178 acres all off leash, streams running through, rabbits and deer to chase, both you and your dog will have a ball. There is also a vacation get-away where you can rent a cabin, motor home or tents but the place is kept spotless, the showers are hot and clean and it's like top notch place. The people that run it is a Border Collie Rescue group, they have the rescues in a well heated barn. During the camp which is only is July they have seminars, sports and great food and entertainment for you, margarita parties in the woods, camp fires - just can't say enough
Anyway your dog is mostly Border Collie and the mental games are important for your dog, they need new games all the time to keep her from getting board, keep her mind active, these collies figure things out on their own too.
I had adopted my border collie from this rescue is how I learned all this. Best dog in the world.
So get another BC friend for her and the playing become accepted. My BC tried to play with other dogs and they wouldn't move so he kept jumping over them and they thought he was crazy.
Shepherds, aussies are also herding dogs.
The biting is when they are young, it comes from excitement too, when I was teaching my dog agility, he was so proud when he completed an apparatus that he would try to bite my wrist out of excitement, I would replace my wrist with a toy and he got it quickly. Anything you teach them they pick up on fast so, if when playing you don't want her to do something, give a correction but remember it's normal for her breed to play this way. You will notice that if she is snapping at the face and you start to run or who ever she is snapping at runs, she is satisfied because she got the result she wanted. You need to watch that if she doesn't have the ability to do what she needs to do (herd and play herding games) she make get over a fence and start chasing bicycles or cars. You need to watch around toddlers too. Anything small or smaller than her will be something she will look to move.
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