Peaches
1 Letting kids play playstation before school, and after school until time for bed, and almost all day on the weekends
#2 Letting them sleep on the couch EVERY night, when clearly they both have beds. They whine when they're told they have to sleep in their beds, and the father gives in and lets them sleep on the couch and wants me to stay in the bedroom watching tv with him from 7:30 pm
#3 This is my pet peeve-they will fight over the playstation. The father will take it away for 15 minutes tops, then give it back to them, then the fighting starts up again. I feel like this is a never ending cycle
#6 They NEVER bring homework home. They say they do it on the bus. What 8 and ten year olds do their homework ON THE BUS every time homework is assigned? The father never asks if they have homework. Today was the first time in like 3 weeks he asked them if they had homework. They said they did it on the bus, and that was the end of the conversation
To simplify things, the father has custody of both children. I am his girlfriend living in HIS home for free. They really are good kids, but the minute the least little thing doesn't go their way, it's a big fussfest and their father ends up giving in. I have tried stepping in. Like tonight; I asked him 2 times to move the kids to their beds, and he basically ignored me. Now, him and one of my firlfriends are in the bed asleep (no hanky panky I know for a fact) but still-it sickens me that these children get away with anything. I have seen a 5 year old pick up after herself better than these 8 and 10 year olds. Clearly the playstation is a big problem, but not all of it. How do it get it through to my man that his ways of raising kids are, well, untraditional?
Answer
No, it is an not unusual way of raising kids. There is a term for that. It's called: Selfish Parenting. Your boyfriend doesn't really care about the future of his kids, because if he did, he would not have divorced. I commend you for sharing. Now it is your noble duty to make things right in his way of parenting. Parents teach their kids to be selfish (spoiled), because those kids are:
ONE. NOT RIGHTLY raised by their parents. Most likely their parents also practice Self-Love, instead of True Love. The parents also spoil themselves, by buying a lot of stuffs for themselves, and most of the time, useless stuffs. To them, giving happiness to their children is about their ability to buy useless toys for the kids, or giving what the kids want, NOT about what is right for the kids' future. The proofs: he lets them play playstation all day, the father rarely asks them about their homework, etc. He even doesn't really love you (he practices Self-Love). If he does love you, he would not ignore your requests. That happiness is, in fact, self-happiness, the simplest form of happiness. True Happiness is this: to lead children to become True Leaders and godly people of the world, those people who make a difference in the lives/ happiness of others.
To the parents, raising kids is like building the parentsâ ego: to buy expensive toys, to let them waste their time with playing useless video games, to let them watch movies with selfish messages, or no control at all of what values their children should learn. All of these only lead the kids to have a bigger ego too. All of these worldly stuffs make them think that loving themselves is more important than loving others. Your boyfriend doesn't realize that when his children become older, they will forget him (they will not love him), because now, he is teaching them to be selfish.
Think logically, why do parents buy their kids useless dolls/ teddy bears, instead of taking them to the children section of a book store, picking out/ buying a good book about leaders/ heroes/ saints/ models of compassion, or reading them out passages from Childrenâs Illustrated Bible before they sleep, or taking them to museums, or inspiring them with the highest principles? Think logically, which one of these 2 scenarios, which will make parents prouder: A. âLook I have bought my children many expensive toys/ video games, and taken them to many countriesâ, or B.âLook, my children have become True Leaders in this world. They have saved many people, and have made many people happierâ?
The reason why parents fail in their parenting/ marriage is because they think, there are many ways to "positive" or âgoodâ or ârightâ, or they are selfish. Think logically, how can there be many ways to being ârightâ in parenting? There can only be one ultimate, indisputable way to the "rightâ parenting, just as there can be only one ultimate, universal, indisputable vision/ way of loving: True Love.
TWO. NOT TAUGHT about Compassion, Spirit of Charity, Self-Esteem, Respect for Others, Humility, the Importance of Religion, Positive Thinking, Sincerity, one vision of True Love by their parents. Since their parents don't know/ practice the concept of True Love, so they also do not understand the meaning of True Happiness, and they don't have a purpose in life: they donât live for the happiness/ betterment of their children.
All the philosophers in the world, including the Atheist ones, plus Jesus and God, believe this: to reach the highest level of happiness/ True Happiness (far greater than self-happiness), or to reach completeness as a human being, is about thinking as little as possible about yourself, as much as possible about others, or about eliminating your selfishness.
Conclusion?
ONE. The only foundation of ârightâ parenting is only one way: teach your children to do things, NOT to satisfy their own ego (self-happiness), but to make others happy (True Happiness). Meaning, lead them to practice True-Love: loving others is more important than loving yourself, NOT Self-Love: loving yourself is more important than loving others.
TWO. The only one reason for personality disorders or confused knowledge about life/ relationships/ marriage in children, and for divorce in marriages, is because their parents practice Self-Love. This is what parents do not know about True Love: a perfect way of life, that covers all aspects of life, all the ultimate concepts of:âTrue Happiness, True Leadership, True Marriage, True Parenting, True Relationship, True Purpose of Life, How To Be Romantic, True Faith in God, Kingdom of Heavenâ.
THREE. The foundation of ârightâ parenting: give your children the HEAVENLY presents, NOT the worldly belongings.
Tell him what I wrote here, and if it doesn't work, show him this writing. If also doesn't work, leave him and find another man (not the divorced one). The logic? Why should you be with a selfish man?
God bless u and all your family.
No, it is an not unusual way of raising kids. There is a term for that. It's called: Selfish Parenting. Your boyfriend doesn't really care about the future of his kids, because if he did, he would not have divorced. I commend you for sharing. Now it is your noble duty to make things right in his way of parenting. Parents teach their kids to be selfish (spoiled), because those kids are:
ONE. NOT RIGHTLY raised by their parents. Most likely their parents also practice Self-Love, instead of True Love. The parents also spoil themselves, by buying a lot of stuffs for themselves, and most of the time, useless stuffs. To them, giving happiness to their children is about their ability to buy useless toys for the kids, or giving what the kids want, NOT about what is right for the kids' future. The proofs: he lets them play playstation all day, the father rarely asks them about their homework, etc. He even doesn't really love you (he practices Self-Love). If he does love you, he would not ignore your requests. That happiness is, in fact, self-happiness, the simplest form of happiness. True Happiness is this: to lead children to become True Leaders and godly people of the world, those people who make a difference in the lives/ happiness of others.
To the parents, raising kids is like building the parentsâ ego: to buy expensive toys, to let them waste their time with playing useless video games, to let them watch movies with selfish messages, or no control at all of what values their children should learn. All of these only lead the kids to have a bigger ego too. All of these worldly stuffs make them think that loving themselves is more important than loving others. Your boyfriend doesn't realize that when his children become older, they will forget him (they will not love him), because now, he is teaching them to be selfish.
Think logically, why do parents buy their kids useless dolls/ teddy bears, instead of taking them to the children section of a book store, picking out/ buying a good book about leaders/ heroes/ saints/ models of compassion, or reading them out passages from Childrenâs Illustrated Bible before they sleep, or taking them to museums, or inspiring them with the highest principles? Think logically, which one of these 2 scenarios, which will make parents prouder: A. âLook I have bought my children many expensive toys/ video games, and taken them to many countriesâ, or B.âLook, my children have become True Leaders in this world. They have saved many people, and have made many people happierâ?
The reason why parents fail in their parenting/ marriage is because they think, there are many ways to "positive" or âgoodâ or ârightâ, or they are selfish. Think logically, how can there be many ways to being ârightâ in parenting? There can only be one ultimate, indisputable way to the "rightâ parenting, just as there can be only one ultimate, universal, indisputable vision/ way of loving: True Love.
TWO. NOT TAUGHT about Compassion, Spirit of Charity, Self-Esteem, Respect for Others, Humility, the Importance of Religion, Positive Thinking, Sincerity, one vision of True Love by their parents. Since their parents don't know/ practice the concept of True Love, so they also do not understand the meaning of True Happiness, and they don't have a purpose in life: they donât live for the happiness/ betterment of their children.
All the philosophers in the world, including the Atheist ones, plus Jesus and God, believe this: to reach the highest level of happiness/ True Happiness (far greater than self-happiness), or to reach completeness as a human being, is about thinking as little as possible about yourself, as much as possible about others, or about eliminating your selfishness.
Conclusion?
ONE. The only foundation of ârightâ parenting is only one way: teach your children to do things, NOT to satisfy their own ego (self-happiness), but to make others happy (True Happiness). Meaning, lead them to practice True-Love: loving others is more important than loving yourself, NOT Self-Love: loving yourself is more important than loving others.
TWO. The only one reason for personality disorders or confused knowledge about life/ relationships/ marriage in children, and for divorce in marriages, is because their parents practice Self-Love. This is what parents do not know about True Love: a perfect way of life, that covers all aspects of life, all the ultimate concepts of:âTrue Happiness, True Leadership, True Marriage, True Parenting, True Relationship, True Purpose of Life, How To Be Romantic, True Faith in God, Kingdom of Heavenâ.
THREE. The foundation of ârightâ parenting: give your children the HEAVENLY presents, NOT the worldly belongings.
Tell him what I wrote here, and if it doesn't work, show him this writing. If also doesn't work, leave him and find another man (not the divorced one). The logic? Why should you be with a selfish man?
God bless u and all your family.
Toys for Pagan children?
shadoehare
Does anyone know a place, either physically or on the 'net, where a Pagan/Wiccan parent can buy toys for their children. I've only found one and it's in Canada. I don't mind that part but they are a small company with maybe 10 toys tops. How about any good craft books? The toys would be for a 1 and 4 year old.
Answer
I've never heard of a "pagan toy store" myself. If you are Wiccan, then you are probably wanting your children to connect with nature and learn about the changing seasons, the moon, the sun, etc. - in which case then I would suggest educational toys from such places that carry science and nature educational toys/products. There is one such store in my local mall but I can't remember the name of it and can't seem to find it on the web at the moment.
Quite honestly, you could spend a fortune on toys and your kids may be just as happy playing with rocks they find outside. I would also suggest simply playing outdoors with them, encouraging them explore the natural world. Then you can see what captures their attention and go from there.
You may get some good ideas at the pagan parenting website, as well as good recommendations for pagan-oriented childrens' books.
http://www.paganparenting.com/
You may also gain some ideas for age appropriate activities to share with your children, and teaching your children about paganism and Wicca as they grow in some of the books from this page:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=circle+round
Hope that helps!
Blessings.
I've never heard of a "pagan toy store" myself. If you are Wiccan, then you are probably wanting your children to connect with nature and learn about the changing seasons, the moon, the sun, etc. - in which case then I would suggest educational toys from such places that carry science and nature educational toys/products. There is one such store in my local mall but I can't remember the name of it and can't seem to find it on the web at the moment.
Quite honestly, you could spend a fortune on toys and your kids may be just as happy playing with rocks they find outside. I would also suggest simply playing outdoors with them, encouraging them explore the natural world. Then you can see what captures their attention and go from there.
You may get some good ideas at the pagan parenting website, as well as good recommendations for pagan-oriented childrens' books.
http://www.paganparenting.com/
You may also gain some ideas for age appropriate activities to share with your children, and teaching your children about paganism and Wicca as they grow in some of the books from this page:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=circle+round
Hope that helps!
Blessings.
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