How to potty train a boy when daddy works all the time?

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Q. I have a 2 year old that I really need to start potty training. It is much easier with a girl. LoL I am wondering what is the best way to potty train my son since his dad is always busy?

Answer
Being a former preschool teacher and home childcare provider, I have potty trained MANY children and dozens of little boys..... There are lots of articles on the subject - but here is my personal experience:

1) A man does NOT have to be the one to teach a boy...Besides you are better off having small boys who are just learning - to SIT on the toilet and hold their "privates" facing down into the toilet, as opposed to standing. They can learn standing later after they are fully potty trained.

2) It is important for YOU to be relaxed about this whole thing. Learning to use the toilet is a natural transition stage in a child's life and shouldn't be rushed. When the parent is anxious... so will the child be.

3) There are exceptions to every rule (both of my own children were potty trained before their 2nd birthdays) -- But this is not the norm. Most toddlers begin to naturally lean towards using the potty between 2 1/2 yrs to 3yrs. And on the other end -- there are children who are still not potty trained at 3 1/2- 4.

4) The bottom line is that when a child is READY to be potty trained, my experience has been that it has NEVER taken longer than 3 days - week -- TOPS!!!! HONESTLY!!!

---- HOWEVER ---- and this is HUGE..... When a child is rushed to be potty trained before they are ready... it can take several months.... 'causing undue stress and anxiety on both child and parent..... AND... in many cases these children go on to have many more accidents than those who were not rushed.

I have seen it time and time again... a child going from adamantly refusing to use the toilet.... to one week later doing a complete about face and being totally potty trained in a matter of days.

5) The best time to begin potty training is to take your cue from the child.... When they show an interest in sitting on the toilet... or when they are "fed-up" wearing diapers... START.

6) Give them an INCENTIVE to use the potty.... something like "stickers" everytime they go.... and then give them a sticker to wear -- and another one on a chart. When they earn so many stickers -- they get a reward (try not to use candy...)

7) Give them a really great reward when they are fully potty-trained (Fully = wearing underwear.. and staying dry through the night on a regular basis) -- A really great reward for our children was a new bike. Make it something THE CHILD wants.... could be a movie, a toy, whatever... The idea is that they will be self-motivated to do it.

8) DON'T BELITTLE, SCOLD, YELL, COMPARE TO OTHER SIBLINGS OR OTHER KIDS, etc.... Some children are afraid of the toilet.. Use positive reinforcement only. -- And comparing is another way of belittling or humiliation.

9) Make the bathroom a fun place... with pictures, singing songs, whatever.... Put a photo or picture of something that interests your child at eye level across from the toilet.

10) Once you have started the potty training... Do "potty prompts" every 1/2 hr.... IE... every 1/2 hr ask if they have to go, & physically take them there if they have been dry for an hour -- even if they say they don't need to. Young children sometimes do not recognize the sensation of "having to go" -- and it is amazing when you put them on the toilet and they get surprised because the pee-pee comes out.

****** PULL-UPS ********

This is such a tough area..... But based on my experience again... When a child is started on potty training on their timing -- no parent should have to purchase more than one box of pull-ups.

Pull-ups are GREAT and BAD.... We all know the "great" reasons... But here are the "not-so-great" aspects....

They are way more expensive than diapers -- so if you start using them too early... it is going to cost you a lot. They have a tendancy to leak out the sides... ruining clothes, furniture, etc... They definitely are not designed to hold BMs... and kids at this age have larger BMs . -- Pull-ups have "stay dry" linings so that many times, children will runaround with a full pull-up and not feel a need to be changed.

What I have found works with pull-ups is to start using them when a child has begun to "tell you" that they need to go -- OR -- at the very least they are holding it naturally until you prompt them to go....

.... And for the child who wants to wear pull-ups because they are sick of diapers, and pull-ups are cute but they aren't at all interested in the potty...... USE THIS AS AN INCENTIVE.... Say, "Okay Johnny... Pull-ups are for big boys who are trying to use the potty.... If you will at least try.... Then you can wear pull-ups" (etc.)

Once you put them in pull-ups.... DO NOT change them like they were diapers.... (unless you have to).... treat them like underwear.

What really works for most kids is when they are home with you for the day (and "they" are ready for potty training) -- let them wear underwear..... If they have an accident... Most children immediately feel the sensation of wetness and do not like it and will run to the bathroom -- or at least tell you. This feeling quickly teaches them to recognize the sensation of having to go.... Of course you will have to deal with the mess... But if you are okay with that.... then most parents I have dealt with have found this worked for them -- and many times a student of mine has gone home on a Friday wearing pull-ups and by Monday they are in underwear.

My final word of advice on this is, once again.... RELAX -- This can be -- or actually -- SHOULD BE a fun and rewarding transition.... not one full of strife.

... Oh... one other thing... about the standing.... Little boys love to watch their Dads pee (let him)... But Mom's make the best teachers because we teach them to wipe themselves, wipe around the rim, put the seat down AND wash their hands! These are lifelong lessons that go a long way.... And their future wives will thank you!!! *LOL*

Would a lot of bending over, reaching on top of shelves, and turning cause someone to loose their baby?

adalia

I am 13+ weeks pregnant. I have a toddler at home and a husband with a broken ankle. I have been doing a lot of activities and it scares me a lot. Can I cause myself another miscarriage? I have also had some pains and cramps to come and go around my abdomen when I bend. I am the only one in the house that can reach for things, pick up the toys, cook, and give my baby a bath.

Answer
LOL do not listen to Nicole.. she has NO idea what she is talking about. scrubbing floors will not cause a miscarriage. I cannot stand when people answer questions with answers that are so wrong.. listen to the girls who know what they are talking about.. NONE of that will cause a miscarriage. its normal everyday activities.. its not like you are out building houses and lifting tons of lumber and chopping wood with an ax everyday.. you are doing normal things anyone does.

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How can I creatively decorate my kids rooms without painting?

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af

I have a 7 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl. I need ideas on decorating their rooms without painting them. Thanks.

Answer
1. Cover wall space with your child's own original artwork.
2. For young children, use crepe paper on a roll (available at teacher's supply or craft shops) for finger, sponge, or other tactile painting. You can lay the paper flat, let your child paint to her/his heart's content, and then hang the finished painting from your child's wall. Another method is to hang blank sheets from ceiling to floor like wallpaper and let your child 'body paint' right onto the wall. This can be a fun activity for the whole family, as long as you don't mind getting a little messy yourself. Make handprints, footprints, and splatters. It's like coloring the walls, but without the parental wrath and permanent damage.
3. Older children may already have a collection of artwork from school art classes. Turn your child's room into a mini-museum by framing your child's drawings and paintings with paper, pegboard, or wooden frames, and hanging them throughout the room.
4. Finally, pre-teens will enjoy the time-honored tradition of the magazine collage. Use a removable, non-damaging adhesive (such as Sticky Tack) to arrange clipped pictures of movie stars, favorite musicians, and coveted shoes all over the walls. The best part of this decorating technique is that your child can add to it every day.
5. Liven up white walls.
6. If your child's heart is set on changing the color of the walls entirely, try using wallpaper - without actually pasting it up. Take a trip to the home goods store and pick out paper samples or remnants. Don't worry if the remnants aren't large enough to cover the whole wall - creating a collage of different patterns and colors is part of the fun.
7. To add texture, choose some fabric remnants from a crafts store to hang as tapestries. If your child sleeps in a bunk bed, fabrics can be hung from the sideboards to create a "tent". This can make the room feel bigger, and creates a great place for pretend!
8. Add 3-dimensional interest.
9. Hanging mobiles aren't just for babies. Fill some space in the room by fashioning a "chandelier" out of old toys, stuffed animals, or any lightweight objects. Older children might enjoy making mobiles that reflect their hobbies. Baseball cards, old ballet slippers, and sports ribbons are all good materials.
10. Hanging fabric from the walls - attached only at the top with some neat finishing nails - adds a splash of color to a room, and you can always take it down. Also try hanging picture frames (with nails through the fabric) on top of the fabric sheet to have a nice picture collage.
11. Add decorative knobs to the furniture. Thousands are available now, you'll find one that will relate to something important in your child's life - their favorite sport, an animal they love... You can even get them really involved by letting them paint their own knobs!
12. Self-stick, peelable, wallpaper borders, murals, and designs. They do not damage the walls, yet add a lot of color and character. Has your son out-grown ABC's and cartoon cars? Peel them off, wash the walls, stick on the Batman borders and stickers. They are available at many places that sell wallpaper as well as on-line. They will last for a year at least. Actually, these self-stick borders are nice for adding an easy splash of color to any room. Some of these products are 'cheap-looking' (like shelf paper), but many are indistinguishable from quality wallpaper.
13. Remember to hang art and other decorations low enough for the child to appreciate... and yes, touch. Too many nicely-decorated children's rooms have the pictures, shelves, etc. all at adult height. Who cares if it looks like it came out of a magazine? Whose room is it anyway? Put that ABC poster down at toddler level so she can appreciate it.

How can I teach music to my toddler?

Jackie

I have a three year old girl and I want to get her into learning music and theory as early as possible. I want her to grow to be a top musician, but none of that X-Factor rubbish. I'd prefer it if she did something useful.

Answer
Toddlers learn by doing what they see their parents do. She sees you sweep the floor and she wants to do it to. She sees you with laundry baskets and she wants to help.

Sing to her. Sing with her. Sing about the things that you are doing together. Silly little things about climbing the stairs, about choosing what to wear today. Just off the top of your head, but it will engage her interest and spark a notion that music is a natural expression of our lives. Always sing lullabies at bedtime. I had a record player beside each of my childrens' beds and a supply of records that they loved to play. They are now all grown and all enjoy music recreationally. .

If you are an instrumentalist, play every day. Let her dance to your music. If you have a piano and friends who are musical, invite them for family dinners and some fun music time afterwards. I have noticed when reading biographies of successful musicians, they often mention that they grew up in music filled homes.

I would suggest that you make music a happy experience for her. I would avoid some musical toys with tinny sounds that will ruin her musical ear. When she is a little older and has the concentration, fine motor ability, and sufficient attention span, start her with instrumental lessons, taking care to choose a teacher who has experience and success with very young students.

Music theory is not the place to begin. Babies learn to speak words before they can produce and identify individual letter sounds. Children first learn to read sight words before they master the sound-letter relationships that are used do decode new words. Music theory will come as she learns and enjoys various genres of music. She will come to notice that some songs seem to work with clapping in groups of three while others work with claps in groups of four. She will wonder why - and that leads to you working on some beginning music theory with rhythms, notation, and on and on.

Please realize that unless she is some sort of prodigy, it is too early to see if she has any natural talent to sing, to play an instrument, or to compose. It is quite possible for her to be able to develop a love of music but not possess exceptional performance skills. Never let her think you are disappointed in her if she can't measure up to your very high expectations. Ultimately, you have to let her grow into the woman that she was meant to be - which could be a top musician, or maybe not.

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