Monday, May 27, 2013

Is it normal to feel this way? Or do I need professional help?

Q. Hello, I'm a 14 year old girl and I would like if someone could help me. I feel so empty like there is nothing inside of me. I've been to the psychiatrist and on the first visit she said that she believes I have major depression and psychosis. Well at the time I didn't believe her because I was no longer depressed. The reason I went to the psychiatrist is because I see and hear things that other people do not see. My mom says that they are spirits, ghost. Well the doctor wanted to do some test on me and wanted me set on some anti-depressants. Well my mother didn't want that and accused the doctor of just wanting our money. (My mom also has depression). At the moment I'm on st.John's wort. They help with my concentration and with my mood swings. When I don't take my pill the tiniest of things would set me off. Like I have this friend.....Well let's call her "Nancy". I've been Nancy's friend for about two years. When I met Nancy I was hearing the voices and ect. Well at the time I wouldn't have these mood swings and thoughts of homicide, just suicide. At that time I self harmed but we're not talking about that. Nancy had this horrible friend who was two faced. They talked behind my back and one day my friend "Emily" told everyone that I brought a knife to school because I was going to stab them, I was at band at the moment and didn't realize that she had told everyone that. When I returned and went to p.e EVERYONE (Take note the school has about 50 kids and most are pre-kay) avoided me and when I walked towards them wondering why they were avoiding me they laughed and ran away screaming. I was really depressed during those times. Well eventually I managed to get through all that, I learned to not care. Alright back to 2013. Nancy is still my friend and she was no longer friends with two face (The girl from before not Dent.) Well I can tolerate Nancy most of the time but sometimes she just ticks me off. One day I was playing around with her and I jokingly said "Get out the way!" (She was in my spot during sign language) She KNEW I was joking, because I laughed after wards. She answered with attitude and rolled her eyes. My mood changing from cheerful to angry in a matter of seconds. I even took my pill that day! Nancy has family problems and she tells me them. She knows that I love to see others in pain. Some days Nancy avoids me and I know why. She even told me. "I'm not in the mood to be bullied." I can't help it, I can't help but be so heartless. I lack empathy. I lie to get my way and I put on a act to earn others trust. Some kids and teachers at school call me a dictator.(I'm class president.) But one second I feel on top of the world, calling everyone my toys. And then I feel sad and empty. My heart aches, my stomach twist and I feel as if everyone hates me. They do sometimes, they want me dead. I know it. Most of the time I'm very agitated. My mother won't listen to me. She says I'm just special and have the gift of seeing dead people. I'm also very paranoid. One time I refused to eat my dinner because I believed that my mother had poisoned it. I'm tired of feeling so heartless. I'm SICK of these mood swings, they throw my whole day off. I lay in bed at night refusing to sleep because I can't stop thinking and when I do manage to sleep I have nightmares. Last night I was sick of it all. I was on the verge of tears, my heart was aching. I felt so empty and hollow. But I couldn't cry, I couldn't get myself to cry. What I want help with is. Is it normal for a girl my age to feel this way? Or am I some type of sociopath? Was the doctor correct when she diagnosed me?
I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors.

A. if a psychiatrist told you that you were depressed and psychotic--well then....obviously you have issues that need to be dealth with--st john's wort helps but I think you need real pres meds--go get help---talk to your school psyc./counselor etc.. see what your options are out there....


Is it normal for a 2 year old to only say 4 words clearly?
Q. So, my son turned 2 march 3rd 2013. & I've begun to get worried at his speech. Kids younger than him even talk more words and clearer. He only says yes,no,mama,dada. He never uses to words together like yes mama or such. He doesn't repeat words, and won't try to say words when I'm playing with him such as 'car' or 'toy'. Idk if he's just delayed or if there is a definate speech disorder? I'm a first time mother so could use any advice! Thanks.

A. By 2 he should be saying several words and making simple sentences at times like "Go bye bye", "Night night, mama", etc. It's okay if his pronunciation is not great at age 2. Many 2 year olds don't have all their sounds down perfectly.

Just because he has a speech delay now doesn't mean there is something seriously wrong with him, but you should get him tested by your state's early intervention program (it's usually low cost or free) so you know where he's at and what is recommended. In the meantime, just keep working on his speech with him (but don't let him know you're trying to get him to talk... you know how 2 yr olds can be!).

-Read to him often. Ask him to point at pictures that you name. Then point to pictures and ask him to name them for you. If he won't, then you say what they are.

-Make sounds with him. This can help his pronunciation. Make animal sounds, car sounds, train sounds, people sounds (mmmmm, uh-oh, etc).

-Ask him questions with 2 options and wait for a reply. If he doesn't, then you answer him verbally. Ex: "Do you want milk or juice?.... You're pointing to the milk. You must want milk. Let me get you some milk."

-Talk to him frequently. Especially about the things he's showing interest in. Ask him questions, make it a conversation, even if his answers are just head nods or pointing, get him used to having conversations. Look for ways to incorporate the words he does use into the conversations.

Good luck! Here are 2 webpages I would recommend:
-Tips for helping toddlers speak: http://www.toddler-tips-and-tricks.com/toddler-speak.html
-Language Development in toddlers: http://www.toddler-tips-and-tricks.com/language-development-in-toddlers.html


running a child care facility- do we give in and let the kids bring in gameboys, baseball and pokemon cards?
Q. I am a director at a child care and after school care for kids up to age 12. We are in a small town in missouri. We don't allow kids to bring in cell phones, i pods, baseball cards or any kind of trading cards. Under our policies we state ABSOLUTELY these items are not allowed and if a child brings them in they will be taken away and not returned until a parent comes to pick the item up. No exceptions. Many of our kids did not like that policy and even some of our parents had problems with that policy. But we said, sorry that's our policy, those items aren't allowed, that's it. We are in a small town and for a while we were the only after school care facility in our town, so therefore we really had no competition. In March 2011 another after school care facility opened down the street and for the first time since about '96 we had competition and didn't think they could compete with us.- we were wrong! Within a month after they opened we had 12 different parents pull their children out of our center and enroll in their new center. We were shocked. When I was at the soccer field I ran into one of the parents who took their child out of our center and she said, 'i don't understand why you don't allow kids to trade cards. Kids like to that stuff, their not allowed to do that at school, but at after school care I don't see why you don't allow that.' She then went on to tell this new place allows children to bring in trading cards. They allow kids to have more freedom and that was their reason for switching centers and she also said other parents switched for the same reason. It seems like such a small reason! When we checked the other centers' web site, sure enough right there it said kids are welcome to bring gameboys (as long as they turn the sound down), baseball cards, etc. As long as it's not causing a problem, your child is welcome to bring these items in. When summer 2011 the number of kids at our summer camp was WAY DOWN!!! When fall came and the kids went back to school the number of kids at our center went down even more. In January 2012 we had a little more than half the number of kids from the previous January. This was also reflected in the number of people calling to enquire for information on our center and the number of visitors which was very few. Years past we had visitors all the time. I suggested to some of the other employees maybe we should consider allowing kids to bring some of these items in. Their response to me: absolutely not! They claimed that this was temporary and some families would come back and the other center was growing too quickly. We would be fine they said and we couldn't give in on our policies and rules. In the summer of 2012 we almost didn't have a summer camp- we were now down to less than half the number of kids from January 2011. In November 2012 we came up with a grand idea- offer half price tution for the first 3 months. We thought this would hit it out of the park. It brought in 8 new students, which was great but way below what we were hoping. We were thinking it would bring in about 20-30 new kids. Nope, just 8. Here we are in Feb 2013. The other center is just crippling us. Do we allow kids to bring these items into our center and let them have more freedom and just try it out. If our numbers don't go up soon... I worry we will be in serious trouble! Every summer we would have college girls come to work for us. This summer we can only bring back 2 girls. We don't have the number of kids- we don't have the need for too many workers. I'm about out of my mind... what to do. I would love to hear from day care directors, day care workers, etc.

A. I'm not a day care provider though I have provided services to children through social services, managing a Federal program for the state of Illinois and I have an MBA. Your day care has a severe communication problem. You were able to ignore it because you didn't have competition but that is no longer the case. You did not hear what the kids and some parents were telling you prior to the competition and I'm not sure you explained (you din't in your post) to them the reason for your policy. You can't tell adults with the ability to choose, "That's our policy because we say so". If you din't explain the benefits that come from your policy it just seems that you are out of touch. And it is nice to get some feedback from employees but YOU are the director and your day care is failing. The next conversation you are going to have with them is an unpleasant one about their jobs. If people are so dissatisfied that they left, it is going to be very difficult to bring them back and you have a limited population to work with, you are in a small town. To survive you are going to have to let the kids have those items, if you and your staff believe so much in the alternatives you offer the present them in such a way the kids choose them over the gameboys, baseball and pokemon cards. And not only are you going to offer the kids the option of having their toys, you are going to have to offer something the other place isn;t to get your clients back.





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