MY 9 yr old SON HAS BEEN WATCHING SEX VIDEOS!?

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KoolWhip

I'm a single 32 yr old mother of 2; a 9 yr old boy & 1 yr old girl. I have a home desk top computer that I bought in spring 2008 basically for my business & personal use. I never thought my household would become victim on online sexual exposure 'so soon not that I want it to happen.'

I admit playing R&B Joe's music outrageously crazy during chores, cooking, just because etc. with & without my son being home. A few months ago I had a problem with one of my brothers who used my computer to watch porn when my son & I share our desk top. He said that it's for educational purposes and was on it for like 10 hours. I never knew about what he did until I went into my computer cookies folder either that same night or the next day to find something before stumbling upon 190 porn sites. I contacted him, he confessed to it and paid to get the viruses & sites removed with protection added. When found out about the porn it raised a huge red flag with fear that pop ups would appear before my son.

Just today 1/28/2011 I received a call from my son's day treatment program about his inappropriate behavior on a female peer that shares transportation with him from the day before. In a 2 hr conversation with him he confessed to how he had sexually caroused, rubbed, caressed, touched & had his hands in her pants. He kissed her on the lips couple times, hit her behind, kissed her butt while (on the van). YES THIS IS WHAT HE CONFESSED TO ME!! As 2 of 4 people on the van this is what was happening and the program told me that now he has to switch routes & to a daytime schedule again. In our conversation (because I feel that he needs a good whipping) don't you know that HE TOLD ALL??!!! I mean detailed EVERYTHING about what goes on in the bed with a male/ female, how he's been on Youtube watching sex videos when I leave out the room to take care of home, cook etc and upon my arrival he'll hurry to exit the video and act like he was 'really' playing kid games. He was talking as if it was two grown ups. I couldn't believe my ears. In pain internally my heart/ mind was in shock, numb, I was angry, you name it but I didn't let him see it!! He was very open and when asked what he saw in the videos (here's his exact words) "I see a man & lady in bed humping on each other, kissing, touching inappropriately in different places." I was literally floored!!!! He claims that its all because he wants a girlfriend bc of loneliness but he has me & his sister. As a mother/ parent I had to re-explain in child language what a girl/ boyfriend was (but not the way grown ups look at it). I explained that I have boy & girlfriends, you know, male/ females who are my friends but I don't go kissing on them. I just found all of this out today. I didn't know any of this.

As its just the three of us in the home, my son has only seen ONE man come into my home sharing my bed with me and that is my daughter's father. (Well before I became impregnated by him) but never the less, I never had him over when my son was awake, I'd always wait until his 8:00 bed time before he come by and by then he's already asleep. I keep my bedroom door shut at all times and teach my son to NEVER open a closed door, always knock first. Like one morning when my boo & I were sleep nude (as a light sleeper) I heard my son bout to open the door so I immediately covered him and yelled to my son "you better not open this door." I threw a robe on to see what he wanted. We've never displayed sexual behavior around him (it's always in the bedroom). And I'm the type of person whose private anyways, I hate & do not like ANYONE in the house with me & my bedroom partner anyways, it makes me nervous to where I can't fully indulge in my adult activities. With fear as much as we love to f**k doggystyle & have oral sex etc I worried that he'll walk in on us seeing my a** in the air and my mouth down south. Omg, that's why I try to empty my house. In the past when he'd come over I would get my sister who lives around the corner from me to keep him for the night. And if she can't I'd make sure he in bed sleep before the arrival.
Thank heaven for early school hours whereas boo can sleep in while I get my son out for school and that leaves us to be alone. I'm going to password my computer and buy a doorknob with a lock.
I don't know what to do. SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED ON THE COMPUTER AT ALL? I feel only when I'm present & if I'm not he'll have to wait in his room til I return. He did apologize but still... he knows what goes on. WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLEASE HELP! >( Thanks.

Answer
gosh.
im floored, so i can only imagine what ur feeling.

uve done all the right things!

put a chair under the doorknob r wedge something under the door til u get the lock changed.
& definitely password the computer. i wudnt allow him on it 4 a while--just as a punishment.

what he knows obviously can not b undone.
& i cant blv not only what he knows--WHAT HE DID!!

i know that u explained that his feeling lonely is not followed by this type of behavior, but i wud explain it 2 him again. then tell him that if hes lonely, 2 let u know & u will try 2 get him a play-date sometimes, but that most of the time that he will just have to play with his toys r watch tv.

that every1 gets lonely from time 2 time...

is there any way u can get therapy for him?
if its an expense u cant afford, u cud bone up urself from the library and 'online'.

is he still interested n going on these sites?!!??
itll b harder if he is, but even if hes not, hes seen 'the other side' so it wud still b tempting 2 him.

dont let it stress u out. that doesnt help. its happened, & all u can do is repair it as best u can.

ur a great mother.

a great mother!

ur just n a nightmare that the rest of us hope to avoid.

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