Splitting Bills Fairly BF + 2 Kids?

goreh0use

My BF & I have been living together for just under a yr. we split rent 50/50 for the most part. Occasionally, 1 of us would pay slightly more, but that was usually 'cause 1 of us loaned the other some $ for something. For other bills, we kind of paid as we went - he'd pay storage, I'd pay electricity, I'd pay his phone, etc.
Recently, he suggested we start splitting everything 50/50. He said that "it's really what is fair." Seems logical. However, he has 2 small children from a previous relationship that stay w/us part time. 

They stay w/us an absolute min of 9 days a month, though it is more often than not 11-12 days a mo, but has been as much as 14 days.

My BF makes considerably more a mo than I do. However, he has deductions from his check (child support [which is calculated as if they were w/us 8 days ea. mo], new tools for work, & paying back for an overage of unemployment he received yrs ago). After deductions, his actual take home pay is about $350 more per mo than mine.

I often pay for things like toys & kid art supplies, food & clothes for the kids, etc. I do this because I love his kids. I also sew, so often make clothing & toys for the kids, either upcycling old clothes or using bought materials.

I do all of the cooking, including almost always packing the kids' lunches for school.

Currently, my car is inoperable, but when it is running, he uses my car most Mon.s, every Thur, & every Fri to transport the kids to & from school. I take the bus those days. 

He usually pays most of the out-of-the-house entertainment costs, like going to 1 concert a mo, 1 dinner out a mo, & perhaps a movie. I usually pay for 1 additional dinner out a mo.

Now, knowing all of this - is it fair of me to ask that the split be more like 60/40 considering the fact that the children's costs are an integral part of our monthly budget? Or should it still be 50/50? 

With 50/50, I rarely have even an extra $20 a mo to spend in JUST me (new clothes, makeup, etc.) I'm ok w/ that i

Answer
Short answer. 50/50 seams fair, but its not.
50% of a total take home is what it should be.
So if one makes $200 a week, you pay 50%
on that amount =$100. If the other makes
$300 a week they pay 50% of that amount
=$150.

R&Sers would you get your kids a gift card or...?

Annalissa

My 12 year old wants a gift card for Christmas clothes (she want to make her own choices in clothes...thatâs fine) Iâm only putting $100 on this card, but sheâs unsure where she wants the card from, Kohls, Jc Penny, or even Wal-Mart.

Well I told her I could possibly buy two cards with $50 on each, but then I was in Wal-Mart picking out some odds and ends when I came across the Wal-Mart visa debit card. I have a visa debit myself and love it, but Iâm not too sure if that is over the top for a 12 year old. This way sheâll be able to grab some clothes at different stores and not have to worry about being confined to one store.

Should I get one and put in in my name so I can still approve of items? (sheâs not getting anything sluttty , not under my watch) or should I put it in her name? Is that even allowed with visa debit cards? Will it have to be put in my name anyway?
That's what I mean , a pre-paid card
chieko,

You have no idea what you're talking about, we live on a once source income, my husband and he only makes $14 an hour. We are not rich, we can not afford to through money around, we had to put the billd off just for christmas this year, with hopes to catch up in the next few months.
My mother bought my daughter clothes with ducks and bears on them and she was humiliated at school. She wants to pick out her own clothes and at age 12, I think she is old enough to pick out a shirt she actually likes.

But I'd love to see all this money you claim I have, maybe you can find it and tell me where it is.
Sorry typed too fast..we live on One income and we had to put the bills off, just so my kids can have a good christmas.
chieko,
Oh excuse me for wanting my kids to go to school with decent clothes, perhaps youâll be happier if I went to the salvation army to buy my kids clothes..or maybe just to make you happy I should send them with their old pants with wholes, stained clothes. Thatâll boost my kids spirit right? Oh and a pre-paid card is not consumer debt, weâll be able to pay our bills in the next few months, with no problems, itâs all calculated out. I feel sorry for your kids if you have any, it seems you could care less what they wear. Fashion is one thing but appropriate clothing for school is different. Oh and Iâm not angry with you, just shocked that you donât give a crud about kids, or their clothes. I feel very sorry for your children to have such a heartless mother.
See there, no kids..you couldn't possibly understand what parents go through. I also go to the salvation army for myself, why?..because I was raised poor too, but my children come first, unlike you who seems to only care for herself.

I'm blocking you now because you are becoming a pain in the butt and if you have no kids and are not a parent, this question was not for you anyway.

I was addressing the Parents and since you are not one the you have no reason to be here.
Thanks Kerri

Answer
Anna
The gift card is a great idea for choosy kids, I noticed you were only buying clothes which is wonderful that you let your kids pick out clothes that suites them, good clothes could really boost self confidence and if the bears and ducks scarred her then itâs best that you go with her while sheâs spending, which Iâm sure you will because sheâs only 12.

I also noticed a couple of negative people on here, but you know what Anna? Donât worry about them, I also bought my kids clothes that they hated, over and over and my kids did everything they could to avoid wearing them. Get the card, let them pick out the clothes they like and you donât have to worry about taking clothes back or having your kids upset that you bought clothes they donât like.

Iâve been through this, I have a couple of kids myself, one who's 12 as well and I know kids refuse to wear things they donât like.

Besides, have you ever seen the âThereâs no way in h*ll, Iâm going to wear thisâ face as your kid opened her present?
Have you seen the stunned, big eyed, no breathing face with the dull sounding, âuhhâ¦thanks momâ as your kid tosses the box aside?

Iâve seen both of those, Iâve also seen clothes hidden, clothes âlost at schoolâ and clothes simply thrown away. Iâd rather get the card for clothes, that way you know you didnât waste your money.

Besides $100 will not go a long way anyway, I spent $75 at kohls and only got four shirts, defiantly not a whole wardrobe. Buy every thing else, toys and such but defiantly let your kids pick out their own clothes..

Gift cards are not the lazy way out, sometimes itâs the only way kids will get the clothes they really will wear, instead of opening the package and tossing it aside. As a mother, I understand your dilemma. Iâd go with a pre-paid visa or master card, you keep it and only break it out when you both agree on something acceptable.

God Bless

Powered by Yahoo! Answers