Jules
My children are messy, messy, messy. Their ages range from 3 to 10 years. They are constantly making messes. I can't keep up with them and my house is a disaster. They leave toys, shoes, clothes, and books everywhere. My husband is just as bad. I am tired of living in a pig sty. I'm tired period. I have 4 kids and a husband and I make 6. It is so hard cleaning up after 6 people (not to mention the 6 animals we have but they are less trouble). I just want people to pick up after themselves. Is that too much I ask? I mean, you name it, it's lying on my floor! Even dirty dishes lay on my floor! What would you do?
Answer
There were also 4 kids in our household - 2 were from hubby's previous marriage so that was added conflict where NO-body wanted to clean up or pick up after themselves. Thankfully only 2 left now. Depending on how easy-going your husband is... you can try what worked for me - and it still works when I see the kids falling back into the old ways.
What I did is this: I went "on strike" and refused to perform my "motherly duties" unless the kids changed their behavior (but keep giving them affection though!!) I put a list on the fridge of what that behavior is supposed to be. We also had a family meeting to explain the expectations and what would happen if they weren't met. the first couple of weeks I heard a lot of grumbling - but stick to it because it's worth it. Now my kids take pride in keeping clean rooms and they look forward to the treats I give them when I do a surprise check, and find a clean room - then they get a special treat.
An example of what I did - if they don't pick up their clothes and bring the dirty stuff down to the laundry room - I didn't wash their laundry. If they don't hang the clothes up - they go to school with wrinkled or dirty clothes - then they got embarrassed and they changed their ways.
I even put a lock on the pantry door so they couldn't just help themselves to snack food and sneak it into their rooms. It was a tough 2 weeks (for the lady who told me to try this - it took 4 weeks for her - but still worth it.)
And - No food leaves the kitchen/eating area for ANY reason. You will need your husband's help in role-modeling this stuff too - but DO NOT approach him as though he's behaving like one of the kids - even if he is - or you'll get no help from him. And - as hard as it may be at times - don't be grumpy - BUT you HAVE to stick to it or as soon as you show that you're weakening toward the old ways your kids will jump on the opportunity.
Your approach with your husband should be all about teaching and preparing your kids to be adults. How will your kids make it in the world on their own if they continue like this? If you let them continue in the bad behavior it's like telling them it's okay to disrespect you. Stick to it and it could work! It did for me and the lady who suggested it to me.
*I also included some things similar to "horsenuttss's" posting about cleaning house. Sure was nice not having to clean toilets (consequence for misbehaviour).
If the kids fall back into old ways - just notify them you're going on strike again. Good luck!
There were also 4 kids in our household - 2 were from hubby's previous marriage so that was added conflict where NO-body wanted to clean up or pick up after themselves. Thankfully only 2 left now. Depending on how easy-going your husband is... you can try what worked for me - and it still works when I see the kids falling back into the old ways.
What I did is this: I went "on strike" and refused to perform my "motherly duties" unless the kids changed their behavior (but keep giving them affection though!!) I put a list on the fridge of what that behavior is supposed to be. We also had a family meeting to explain the expectations and what would happen if they weren't met. the first couple of weeks I heard a lot of grumbling - but stick to it because it's worth it. Now my kids take pride in keeping clean rooms and they look forward to the treats I give them when I do a surprise check, and find a clean room - then they get a special treat.
An example of what I did - if they don't pick up their clothes and bring the dirty stuff down to the laundry room - I didn't wash their laundry. If they don't hang the clothes up - they go to school with wrinkled or dirty clothes - then they got embarrassed and they changed their ways.
I even put a lock on the pantry door so they couldn't just help themselves to snack food and sneak it into their rooms. It was a tough 2 weeks (for the lady who told me to try this - it took 4 weeks for her - but still worth it.)
And - No food leaves the kitchen/eating area for ANY reason. You will need your husband's help in role-modeling this stuff too - but DO NOT approach him as though he's behaving like one of the kids - even if he is - or you'll get no help from him. And - as hard as it may be at times - don't be grumpy - BUT you HAVE to stick to it or as soon as you show that you're weakening toward the old ways your kids will jump on the opportunity.
Your approach with your husband should be all about teaching and preparing your kids to be adults. How will your kids make it in the world on their own if they continue like this? If you let them continue in the bad behavior it's like telling them it's okay to disrespect you. Stick to it and it could work! It did for me and the lady who suggested it to me.
*I also included some things similar to "horsenuttss's" posting about cleaning house. Sure was nice not having to clean toilets (consequence for misbehaviour).
If the kids fall back into old ways - just notify them you're going on strike again. Good luck!
Best way to travel with 3 kids, ages 3 and under?
Chris G
Is there any gear that experienced parents would recommend? We are going to stay at a hotel at the beach for a week with our 3 young kids. We already have a travel system for the baby, as well as a double stroller. I was wondering if anyone had any helpful hints or advice.
We are going with our whole family. It isn't going to cost that much. It is an annual thing, so we are definetly doing it. We are waiting to do Disney or anything big like that until they are old enough to remember it.
Answer
Have your kids pick 1 toy that is their choice to bring with them and make sure you do. Pack coloring books and crayons...not just the 3 year old will enjoy the coloring.
I would suggest bringing enough diapers/pull ups to last you the first night and buy some where your going( if you can) this will lessen the load. Bring extra swim suits for the kids. Snacks and treats can be brought or bought while your there. Make sure the hotel room has a crib available to you. If not, then bring a travel bed. Don't forget, extra bottles, bibs, pacifiers, and the essientals.
Sunscreen and littel swimmers..lol
I know travelling with young ones can be trying and un-nerveing.. but it is done all the time. To make the car ride easier for you, bring some dry cereal in a baggie, some juice in a non spill cup and some cd's with kids music on it. Sing along with the kids and enjoy. The more comfortable you make them, the easier the ride is for all of you!
Have your kids pick 1 toy that is their choice to bring with them and make sure you do. Pack coloring books and crayons...not just the 3 year old will enjoy the coloring.
I would suggest bringing enough diapers/pull ups to last you the first night and buy some where your going( if you can) this will lessen the load. Bring extra swim suits for the kids. Snacks and treats can be brought or bought while your there. Make sure the hotel room has a crib available to you. If not, then bring a travel bed. Don't forget, extra bottles, bibs, pacifiers, and the essientals.
Sunscreen and littel swimmers..lol
I know travelling with young ones can be trying and un-nerveing.. but it is done all the time. To make the car ride easier for you, bring some dry cereal in a baggie, some juice in a non spill cup and some cd's with kids music on it. Sing along with the kids and enjoy. The more comfortable you make them, the easier the ride is for all of you!
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