My kids won't pick up after themselves.?

Jules

My children are messy, messy, messy. Their ages range from 3 to 10 years. They are constantly making messes. I can't keep up with them and my house is a disaster. They leave toys, shoes, clothes, and books everywhere. My husband is just as bad. I am tired of living in a pig sty. I'm tired period. I have 4 kids and a husband and I make 6. It is so hard cleaning up after 6 people (not to mention the 6 animals we have but they are less trouble). I just want people to pick up after themselves. Is that too much I ask? I mean, you name it, it's lying on my floor! Even dirty dishes lay on my floor! What would you do?

Answer
There were also 4 kids in our household - 2 were from hubby's previous marriage so that was added conflict where NO-body wanted to clean up or pick up after themselves. Thankfully only 2 left now. Depending on how easy-going your husband is... you can try what worked for me - and it still works when I see the kids falling back into the old ways.

What I did is this: I went "on strike" and refused to perform my "motherly duties" unless the kids changed their behavior (but keep giving them affection though!!) I put a list on the fridge of what that behavior is supposed to be. We also had a family meeting to explain the expectations and what would happen if they weren't met. the first couple of weeks I heard a lot of grumbling - but stick to it because it's worth it. Now my kids take pride in keeping clean rooms and they look forward to the treats I give them when I do a surprise check, and find a clean room - then they get a special treat.

An example of what I did - if they don't pick up their clothes and bring the dirty stuff down to the laundry room - I didn't wash their laundry. If they don't hang the clothes up - they go to school with wrinkled or dirty clothes - then they got embarrassed and they changed their ways.

I even put a lock on the pantry door so they couldn't just help themselves to snack food and sneak it into their rooms. It was a tough 2 weeks (for the lady who told me to try this - it took 4 weeks for her - but still worth it.)

And - No food leaves the kitchen/eating area for ANY reason. You will need your husband's help in role-modeling this stuff too - but DO NOT approach him as though he's behaving like one of the kids - even if he is - or you'll get no help from him. And - as hard as it may be at times - don't be grumpy - BUT you HAVE to stick to it or as soon as you show that you're weakening toward the old ways your kids will jump on the opportunity.

Your approach with your husband should be all about teaching and preparing your kids to be adults. How will your kids make it in the world on their own if they continue like this? If you let them continue in the bad behavior it's like telling them it's okay to disrespect you. Stick to it and it could work! It did for me and the lady who suggested it to me.

*I also included some things similar to "horsenuttss's" posting about cleaning house. Sure was nice not having to clean toilets (consequence for misbehaviour).

If the kids fall back into old ways - just notify them you're going on strike again. Good luck!

Best way to travel with 3 kids, ages 3 and under?

Chris G

Is there any gear that experienced parents would recommend? We are going to stay at a hotel at the beach for a week with our 3 young kids. We already have a travel system for the baby, as well as a double stroller. I was wondering if anyone had any helpful hints or advice.
We are going with our whole family. It isn't going to cost that much. It is an annual thing, so we are definetly doing it. We are waiting to do Disney or anything big like that until they are old enough to remember it.

Answer
Have your kids pick 1 toy that is their choice to bring with them and make sure you do. Pack coloring books and crayons...not just the 3 year old will enjoy the coloring.
I would suggest bringing enough diapers/pull ups to last you the first night and buy some where your going( if you can) this will lessen the load. Bring extra swim suits for the kids. Snacks and treats can be brought or bought while your there. Make sure the hotel room has a crib available to you. If not, then bring a travel bed. Don't forget, extra bottles, bibs, pacifiers, and the essientals.
Sunscreen and littel swimmers..lol

I know travelling with young ones can be trying and un-nerveing.. but it is done all the time. To make the car ride easier for you, bring some dry cereal in a baggie, some juice in a non spill cup and some cd's with kids music on it. Sing along with the kids and enjoy. The more comfortable you make them, the easier the ride is for all of you!

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what can i do with 4 kids ages 10 months-3?

isabellau

I have 2 kids of my own- a 10 month old and a 2 year old, and i babysit 2 little girls who are 20 months and 3, 5 days a week. It's winter so theres not much we can do. I have asked the girls mom to bring boots so we can go to the park, but she says she has no boots for the 20 month old, and Id feel kinda bad to take 4 kids to the park and just make the 20 month old sit in the stroller while the others played. The 20 month old is pretty behind, so she doesnt do much. I try to do crafts with the 2 big kids when my youngest takes her nap- but that leaves the 20 month old alone (she doesnt do anything.. she will just stand around chewing on toys no matter what i try to get her to do). They do independent play and because they get here so early in the morning, I usually let them watch a movie before breakfast. My house isnt huge, and they make a huge mess of the livng room within minutes. I often let them play in my sons bedroom, but that gets trashed and Im pregnant so i usually dont have enough enegery to clean the entire house every night just for it to get trashed again 12 hours later. any ideas on whats fun for kids this age to do? we do read stories and lots of colouring. . im.clueless otherwise.

Answer
There really isn't a whole lot you can do with those kids while being pregnant. I think you're doing great. Crafts, coloring, playing with toys, it's really all you can do with kids at such a young age. I used to play matching games with my nephew, we'd watch cartoons, run around the place, build little forts. Or dance. You could introduce the kids to that if you haven't already, play some fun music and teach them how to dance around and have fun. My nephew and baby cousins would do that for a looong time after they got into it and would dance together. it was fun and super cute.

Help - my kids aged 5 and 3 fight all the time?

Caro

I have a 5yo son and almost 4yo daughter. Ever since my daughter was born my son has been jealous and not nice to her. It is driving me to my wits end as they fight so much I just can't handle it. I have tried everything, even been to a child psychologist and done a positive parenting program but I end up losing my patience with them as it happens so many times during the day. I have tried ignoring, time out, smacking, talking calmly, removing toys or priviliges but nothing has stopped it. I feel so disappointed with myself as a mother as all I want is happy kids and most of the time I feel stressed out or angry. It's awful. The oldest is very full on and loud and they both antagonise each other all the time. I don't live near any family so don't have any support in that way. Any useful suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

Answer
Two of my brothers were like this as children. Siblings are in a very combative situation, and they've both found they get lots of your attention when they attack each other.

They may also be happy with the situation between them. Does either of them seem distressed or like the underdog? From your question it seems like they're both participants in the fights. Maybe they're not going to stop until they're ready.

You need a strategy to deal with that. (You may also need earplugs and the hide of a rhino.)

Do they have lots of activity and outside play? Children who are indoors most of the time have no outlet for their energy and can become aggressive. If they don't, you need to try and schedule time every day for a family walk, or a visit to a playground, if you don't have a yard. Buy some simple toys like bats and balls, a frisbee and a skipping rope, and make sure they get used every day.

Do they play with other children? Maybe they're just bored with each other. You could allow them to have friends over or visit friends as long as they aren't mean to each other during the visit. As you don't have family close by, make friends with some of the other parents at school or nursery. They may be having similar problems!

For behaviour at home, why not sit down and make a list of the things you want to happen? Keep feelings out of it - not "I want happy kids" but "I want mealtimes and drives in the car to be quiet with no arguments going on."

Then write down some ideas for how that could work. Keep them very simple and practical, aimed to achieving what you want, which is to limit arguments and fights. In reality you're not going to manage this all the time, so focus on the situations where fights really irritate or upset you.

For instance "One of the children will sit in front with me in the car while the other sits in the back. I decide which sits where."

Or "The first person to say something nasty at the table will go to their room immediately and stay there until I say they can come down."

Once you've sorted out what you want to happen and what the consequences of not doing so will be, sit down with the children and tell them that you don't like them fighting because it makes you unhappy, so you've decided that in future they mustn't fight at these times and these situations. Keep it simple, and tell them what you want and what will happen if they don't do it.

Then you need to be very consistent and apply your simple rules all the time. Small children need consistency, but the hardest part is to stick to it even when they try to get around you.

My brothers, by the way, grew up to be happy young men, good friends and good fathers.

Best of luck!

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what toys can make my kids smarter? age - 3 to 8?

sheel47157

Answer
My kids have a V-Smile console. They love it. It supports a wider variety of games than leapfrog. But all the games are learning games. They have disney and nickelodeon games so kids will be more apt to play when they see its a dora the explorer game or winney the pooh game... Also for kids closer to 7-8 years age they have spongebob and other games with titles like that. Leapfrog videos I suggest but for games I suggest a V-Smile.

Kids and toys?

mrjts

I have one daughter age of 7 and one step-son he is 10 and they both are always fighting over toys. how can I teach them to share?

Answer
1.Tell them about the poor kids who wish they had these toys!
2.Let them play with the toys at different times!
3.Take their toys away until they learn to share!
4.Show them how it feels when someone refuses to share with them
Example:Go buy something like a toy that both of them wants and say it yours and when they ask to play with it you say so you want me to share?( Then they are suppose to say yes)(they may not but if they do)!You say no im not sharing my toy! Then if they ask why then say becasue you guys dont know how to share! Then ask them how they felt when you said that you are not sharing your toy! Then say well thats how each of yall feel when yall dont share you make a person sad because ou wont share!If this doesnt work sorry with my kids it did!

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What kinds of rewards do you offer your young children? How do you handle toy buying at age 6?

best kids toys age 3 image

SnapIt!!

I am constantly told that I work my daughter too hard (at age 6). We were in the grocery store and my daughter was hounding me for a 3-D puzzle she saw and it was $10 for a tiny boxed puzzle. I told her to save up her quarters and her chore money to buy it. She had just spent $5 on a brand new floor puzzle and a new puzzle/ activity book at Goodwill (where she spends most of her money). I have her do household chores (she uses a little vacuum on her room, dusting, wiping counters, tidying up the house, helping me do laundry, and she earns about $5 a week. For good behavior at school and otherwise, she gets coins in her jar. Usually it adds up to about $5 a week on a good week. She works hard because she knows if she does, she'll EARN the things she wants. My daughter always sees things she wants in the store just like every other human being. Thing is- I don't buy it all for her. I've been told I'm a stick in the mud, "let the kid have fun", I've been told I'm too strict. I buy necessities (clothes, food) and things to help operate the toys she already has (batteries, AC adapters, etc). Her eyes light up at the store, and she always says "Mommy, I like this. Can I get it?" I don't get angry or annoyed, I just say "Did you bring your money with you?" When she doesn't, she gets a sad look on her face, and I always get nasty stares from fellow parents in the isle, and I'm wondering if I'm pushing her too hard. I let her be a kid and play, but she's next to me alot of the time doing something. How much is too much and how much do you buy for your kids (toys) on a normal basis (excluding holidays, birthdays)?

Answer
Whatever you are doing its really good as per me. You are reasonable in it. Your daughter will value money well. Also since he helps you in household work as well, she will be more mannered and gonna be well bring up child. Secondly, please don't think about people. There are different people with different perspective. Some will support you some will not. You cannot make everyone happy. So live your life as you want to. Think about your daughter it will definitely help her alot in future. In short, you should not care for people around you, at the end, she spent money paid by you only.

What should I be teaching my son before he heads to pre K at age 3 and a half or 4?

Dunthat

We may send him sooner than age 3 and a half, but just gotta see how things go.We do want him to do some kind of pre K before kindergarten though.I would like him potty trained before he goes.What do you do with your kids?

Answer
The most important thing is self-help skills: putting on/taking off his shoes, coat, hat, mitts, etc., toileting when he is potty trained. Some pre-k/preschool programs require children to be potty trained, so do look into that. Teach him to listen to others and be well-mannered (please, thank you, wait his turn, say excuse me, etc.).

I didn't do anything specifically to prepare my daughter for preschool, but we did read a lot and go to the library every week, she had access to many toys and art supplies at home, played outdoors as much as possible, attended parent-tot classes (art, creative movement, music), went to local attractions frequently and attended their special events (zoo, museum, conservatory, etc), and had many playdates and group outings with our moms' group friends.

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What should I be teaching my son before he heads to pre K at age 3 and a half or 4?

best kids toys age 3 image

Dunthat

We may send him sooner than age 3 and a half, but just gotta see how things go.We do want him to do some kind of pre K before kindergarten though.I would like him potty trained before he goes.What do you do with your kids?

Answer
The most important thing is self-help skills: putting on/taking off his shoes, coat, hat, mitts, etc., toileting when he is potty trained. Some pre-k/preschool programs require children to be potty trained, so do look into that. Teach him to listen to others and be well-mannered (please, thank you, wait his turn, say excuse me, etc.).

I didn't do anything specifically to prepare my daughter for preschool, but we did read a lot and go to the library every week, she had access to many toys and art supplies at home, played outdoors as much as possible, attended parent-tot classes (art, creative movement, music), went to local attractions frequently and attended their special events (zoo, museum, conservatory, etc), and had many playdates and group outings with our moms' group friends.

How far would drive to complete a Happy Meal toy set for your Grandchild? see below?

latj

I took my Granddaughter to see Ice Age 3 "Dawn of the Dinosaurs" and she loved it. She had all the toys from the Happy Meals at McDonald's except for "Diego" the saber tooth tiger because it was the first one. They were impossible to find and I had to drive 70 miles to get one. Is that a little crazy or do you love your Grandchild that much?

Answer
No it is not crazy, when I was a little kid my Grandparents would always get me the last toy I needed to complete my Happy Meal toy set, the farthest that they ever traveled to get me a toy was 50 miles, I still have all the those toys still in the bags, some day they will be worth a lot of money.

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What are some songs for kids to dance ballet folklorico to ages 3 to 14?

best kids toys age 3 image

TatianaM

I need to know some songs for the kids to dance ballet folklorico to ages 3 to 14 o easy songs

Answer
Kidâs Songs (Disney & More)

Jem & the Holograms--When Itâs only me & the music, I Got my eye on you, Universal Appeal, Depends on the mood Iâm in, People who care
Disco Mickey Mouse Album- Disco Mickey Mouse, Mousetrap, Macho Duck , Watch out for Goofy, Welcome to Rio
AnimanaicsâThere is only 1 of you, U.N. Me, Iâm Cute, Iâll take an island, Quake! A Quake!, Monkey song
Will Smith-- Wild wild west, Summertime, Men in Black, parents just donât understand
Bill Haley & the Comets--ABC Boogie, See you later alligator
They Might be GiantsâIstanbul, particle man, birdhouse in your soul
Rockin RobinâBobby Day
Whoâs Johnny-El Debarge
Inspector Gadget theme (ska verison)âSka king Crab
The Bumblebee tuna song (ska verison)âMephiskapheles
Head to toeâLisa Lisa & the Cult Jam
Labyrinth--Chilly Down, Magic dance
Rainbow ConnectionâKermit the frog
Annie-- Dumb Dog, Letâs go to the movies, Hard knock life
Muppet show theme
Purple people eaterâSheb Wooley
Happy trailsâSons of the pioneers
Who put the bopâThe Big Bopper
Baby Bumblebee
Fraggle Rock theme
Farmer in the dell
Hokey pokey
Puff the magic dragonâPeter, Paul & Mary
Yankee Doodle DandyâJames Cagney
My bonnie lies over the ocean
Monster mash
Yellow polka dot bikini
Witch doctor
I have the powerâShe-ra: Secret of the sword
Raining Sunshine - Miranda Cosgrove (cloudy w/ a chance of meatballs)
Let's Get Together (The Parent Trap)
The Ugly Bug Ball (Summer Magic)
Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah (Song of the South)
Are We Dancing (The Happiest Millionaire)
Oogie Boogie's Song (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Heffalumps and Woozles (Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day)
Lavender Blue (Dilly Dilly)-- (So Dear to My Heart)
Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians)
Some Day My Prince Will Come (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
You've Got a Friend in Me (Toy Story)
The Siamese Cat Song (Lady and the Tramp)
Space Jamâtheme song, Hit âEm High (Monstars theme)
Batman-Partyman-Prince, Batdance-Prince
Fern Gully--Toxic LoveâTim Curry, If Iâm gonna eat somebody it might as well be youâTone Loc, A dream worth keepingâSheena E
Oliver & Co-- Once Upon a time in NYC-Billy Joel, Perfect isnât easy-Bette Midler
Aladdin--A Whole New World, One Jump Ahead
Little Mermaid--Under the Sea, Kiss the Girl, Poor Unfortunate Souls, Part of Your World
Lion King--Circle of Life, Hakuna Matata, I Just Can't Wait to Be King, Be Prepared, Can you feel the love tonight
Beauty and the Beast--Beauty and the Beast, Be Our Guest, Something There, Belle
Mary Poppins--Jolly Holiday, A Spoonful of Sugar, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Feed the Birds (Tuppence a Bag), Let's Go Fly a Kite, Stay Awake
Pete's Dragon--Candle on the Water, Boo Bop Bopbop Bop (I Love You, Too), I swear I saw a dragon
Bambi-- Love Is a Song, Little April Shower
Disneyland--Main Street Electrical Parade, It's a Small World (After All), The Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
Bedknobs & Broomsticks--The Age of Not Believing, Portobello Road, Substitutiary Locomotion, A Step in the Right Direction
Cinderella--Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo, Oh Sing Sweet Nightingale, A dream is a wish your heart makes, So this is love
The Jungle Book--The Bare Necessities, I Wanna Be like You, That's What Friends Are For
Pinocchio--When You Wish upon a Star, I've Got No Strings
The Hunchback of Notre Dame-- Out There, God help the outcasts
Pocahontas--Colors of the Wind, Just Around the Riverbend, Steady As the Beating Drum"
Sleeping Beauty-- Once Upon a Dream, I Wonder
Dumbo--Pink Elephants on Parade, Baby Mine, When I See an Elephant Fly
Robin Hood--Oo-De-Lally, Love
The Aristocats--Thomas O'Malley Cat, Everybody Wants to Be a Cat

What kinds of rewards do you offer your young children? How do you handle toy buying at age 6?

SnapIt!!

I am constantly told that I work my daughter too hard (at age 6). We were in the grocery store and my daughter was hounding me for a 3-D puzzle she saw and it was $10 for a tiny boxed puzzle. I told her to save up her quarters and her chore money to buy it. She had just spent $5 on a brand new floor puzzle and a new puzzle/ activity book at Goodwill (where she spends most of her money). I have her do household chores (she uses a little vacuum on her room, dusting, wiping counters, tidying up the house, helping me do laundry, and she earns about $5 a week. For good behavior at school and otherwise, she gets coins in her jar. Usually it adds up to about $5 a week on a good week. She works hard because she knows if she does, she'll EARN the things she wants. My daughter always sees things she wants in the store just like every other human being. Thing is- I don't buy it all for her. I've been told I'm a stick in the mud, "let the kid have fun", I've been told I'm too strict. I buy necessities (clothes, food) and things to help operate the toys she already has (batteries, AC adapters, etc). Her eyes light up at the store, and she always says "Mommy, I like this. Can I get it?" I don't get angry or annoyed, I just say "Did you bring your money with you?" When she doesn't, she gets a sad look on her face, and I always get nasty stares from fellow parents in the isle, and I'm wondering if I'm pushing her too hard. I let her be a kid and play, but she's next to me alot of the time doing something. How much is too much and how much do you buy for your kids (toys) on a normal basis (excluding holidays, birthdays)?

Answer
Whatever you are doing its really good as per me. You are reasonable in it. Your daughter will value money well. Also since he helps you in household work as well, she will be more mannered and gonna be well bring up child. Secondly, please don't think about people. There are different people with different perspective. Some will support you some will not. You cannot make everyone happy. So live your life as you want to. Think about your daughter it will definitely help her alot in future. In short, you should not care for people around you, at the end, she spent money paid by you only.

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