isabellau
I have 2 kids of my own- a 10 month old and a 2 year old, and i babysit 2 little girls who are 20 months and 3, 5 days a week. It's winter so theres not much we can do. I have asked the girls mom to bring boots so we can go to the park, but she says she has no boots for the 20 month old, and Id feel kinda bad to take 4 kids to the park and just make the 20 month old sit in the stroller while the others played. The 20 month old is pretty behind, so she doesnt do much. I try to do crafts with the 2 big kids when my youngest takes her nap- but that leaves the 20 month old alone (she doesnt do anything.. she will just stand around chewing on toys no matter what i try to get her to do). They do independent play and because they get here so early in the morning, I usually let them watch a movie before breakfast. My house isnt huge, and they make a huge mess of the livng room within minutes. I often let them play in my sons bedroom, but that gets trashed and Im pregnant so i usually dont have enough enegery to clean the entire house every night just for it to get trashed again 12 hours later. any ideas on whats fun for kids this age to do? we do read stories and lots of colouring. . im.clueless otherwise.
Answer
There really isn't a whole lot you can do with those kids while being pregnant. I think you're doing great. Crafts, coloring, playing with toys, it's really all you can do with kids at such a young age. I used to play matching games with my nephew, we'd watch cartoons, run around the place, build little forts. Or dance. You could introduce the kids to that if you haven't already, play some fun music and teach them how to dance around and have fun. My nephew and baby cousins would do that for a looong time after they got into it and would dance together. it was fun and super cute.
There really isn't a whole lot you can do with those kids while being pregnant. I think you're doing great. Crafts, coloring, playing with toys, it's really all you can do with kids at such a young age. I used to play matching games with my nephew, we'd watch cartoons, run around the place, build little forts. Or dance. You could introduce the kids to that if you haven't already, play some fun music and teach them how to dance around and have fun. My nephew and baby cousins would do that for a looong time after they got into it and would dance together. it was fun and super cute.
Help - my kids aged 5 and 3 fight all the time?
Caro
I have a 5yo son and almost 4yo daughter. Ever since my daughter was born my son has been jealous and not nice to her. It is driving me to my wits end as they fight so much I just can't handle it. I have tried everything, even been to a child psychologist and done a positive parenting program but I end up losing my patience with them as it happens so many times during the day. I have tried ignoring, time out, smacking, talking calmly, removing toys or priviliges but nothing has stopped it. I feel so disappointed with myself as a mother as all I want is happy kids and most of the time I feel stressed out or angry. It's awful. The oldest is very full on and loud and they both antagonise each other all the time. I don't live near any family so don't have any support in that way. Any useful suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
Answer
Two of my brothers were like this as children. Siblings are in a very combative situation, and they've both found they get lots of your attention when they attack each other.
They may also be happy with the situation between them. Does either of them seem distressed or like the underdog? From your question it seems like they're both participants in the fights. Maybe they're not going to stop until they're ready.
You need a strategy to deal with that. (You may also need earplugs and the hide of a rhino.)
Do they have lots of activity and outside play? Children who are indoors most of the time have no outlet for their energy and can become aggressive. If they don't, you need to try and schedule time every day for a family walk, or a visit to a playground, if you don't have a yard. Buy some simple toys like bats and balls, a frisbee and a skipping rope, and make sure they get used every day.
Do they play with other children? Maybe they're just bored with each other. You could allow them to have friends over or visit friends as long as they aren't mean to each other during the visit. As you don't have family close by, make friends with some of the other parents at school or nursery. They may be having similar problems!
For behaviour at home, why not sit down and make a list of the things you want to happen? Keep feelings out of it - not "I want happy kids" but "I want mealtimes and drives in the car to be quiet with no arguments going on."
Then write down some ideas for how that could work. Keep them very simple and practical, aimed to achieving what you want, which is to limit arguments and fights. In reality you're not going to manage this all the time, so focus on the situations where fights really irritate or upset you.
For instance "One of the children will sit in front with me in the car while the other sits in the back. I decide which sits where."
Or "The first person to say something nasty at the table will go to their room immediately and stay there until I say they can come down."
Once you've sorted out what you want to happen and what the consequences of not doing so will be, sit down with the children and tell them that you don't like them fighting because it makes you unhappy, so you've decided that in future they mustn't fight at these times and these situations. Keep it simple, and tell them what you want and what will happen if they don't do it.
Then you need to be very consistent and apply your simple rules all the time. Small children need consistency, but the hardest part is to stick to it even when they try to get around you.
My brothers, by the way, grew up to be happy young men, good friends and good fathers.
Best of luck!
Two of my brothers were like this as children. Siblings are in a very combative situation, and they've both found they get lots of your attention when they attack each other.
They may also be happy with the situation between them. Does either of them seem distressed or like the underdog? From your question it seems like they're both participants in the fights. Maybe they're not going to stop until they're ready.
You need a strategy to deal with that. (You may also need earplugs and the hide of a rhino.)
Do they have lots of activity and outside play? Children who are indoors most of the time have no outlet for their energy and can become aggressive. If they don't, you need to try and schedule time every day for a family walk, or a visit to a playground, if you don't have a yard. Buy some simple toys like bats and balls, a frisbee and a skipping rope, and make sure they get used every day.
Do they play with other children? Maybe they're just bored with each other. You could allow them to have friends over or visit friends as long as they aren't mean to each other during the visit. As you don't have family close by, make friends with some of the other parents at school or nursery. They may be having similar problems!
For behaviour at home, why not sit down and make a list of the things you want to happen? Keep feelings out of it - not "I want happy kids" but "I want mealtimes and drives in the car to be quiet with no arguments going on."
Then write down some ideas for how that could work. Keep them very simple and practical, aimed to achieving what you want, which is to limit arguments and fights. In reality you're not going to manage this all the time, so focus on the situations where fights really irritate or upset you.
For instance "One of the children will sit in front with me in the car while the other sits in the back. I decide which sits where."
Or "The first person to say something nasty at the table will go to their room immediately and stay there until I say they can come down."
Once you've sorted out what you want to happen and what the consequences of not doing so will be, sit down with the children and tell them that you don't like them fighting because it makes you unhappy, so you've decided that in future they mustn't fight at these times and these situations. Keep it simple, and tell them what you want and what will happen if they don't do it.
Then you need to be very consistent and apply your simple rules all the time. Small children need consistency, but the hardest part is to stick to it even when they try to get around you.
My brothers, by the way, grew up to be happy young men, good friends and good fathers.
Best of luck!
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