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Please help me i have 4 kids and they never listen to me. They are all under 10 yrs old. I tell them to stop this stop that with a strict voice. They dont listen! I punish them they dont pay any attention. They dont go to bed when i ask them too. They talk back, jump up and down in the car etc. I hate my life. They wont even do as i ask. Please help timeouts are nothing to them and spankings arent nothing to them either!
Answer
I actually was talking with a friend about this kind of thing not too long ago...she was never a really bad kid, but she did some things that would piss off and frustrate her parents. One particular incident we were talking about was when she was forbidden from going to a dance (I think we were juniors at this time), and I asked her if she had learned her lesson from it. She said "no, but if they had taken my car away I sure would have started paying attention."
So moral of the story is: you just need to find what matters to them. My friend didn't really give a crap about going to the dance, but she loved having the freedom to drive around as she pleased and not have Mom and Dad drop her off everywhere, so that would have gotten more attention. Likewise, maybe your son doesn't care if you spank him but he'll start listening when you take his Wii away. Maybe your daughter is unaffected by timeout but would pay attention if you stopped her from going to a few birthday parties. Tell them you'll do something and then do it if they don't stop. Once they know you're serious they'll start listening to your strict voice.
If timeouts and spankings don't work, here are some ideas:
Take away their possessions one by one and make them earn them back. I'm sure they have plenty of toys and clothes - hell, if they keep it up long enough you can take away their bed.
Cut their allowance.
Cut their privileges - dessert, TV time, video game time, parties they want to go to, etc.
Give unpleasant chores - nasty, hard, tedious, etc. One thing that worked really well for one of my sons was making him clean out the kitty litter with his bare hands.
Honestly, a lot of times it can turn into a test of wills - the key is that you need to win decisively. Let's stage an example:
You: "OK, it's bedtime, let's go."
Son: "No, I wanna stay up."
You: "No, you need to go to bed now. I want you in your PJs in 5 minutes or you're going to bed (30 minutes earlier) tomorrow night."
(5 minutes pass, your son is still in his dayclothes.) "Ok, bedtime is (e.g.) 8 tomorrow night. Let's go or I'll take away your Wii for a week."
If he doesn't go then, go ahead, take the Wii. Continue to take things away (including privileges if you want) until he gives in - he's eventually going to realize that if he continues he's going to end up with no toys, a bare mattress, no dessert, no TV, and a 6 pm bedtime. But the key is you cannot waver. He needs to see that you're steadfast. Even if he throws a tantrum just pick him up and put him in his room - he's under 10, I'm sure you can carry him. Turn off the light, close the door, and let him pitch a fit - there's no toys in there at that point, all he can do is look at the blank walls.
If he does go then, then congratulations! But make sure you stick with the earlier bedtime the next night or else he won't respect you.
When you take possessions, make sure you put them somewhere where either they can't find or access them.
I actually was talking with a friend about this kind of thing not too long ago...she was never a really bad kid, but she did some things that would piss off and frustrate her parents. One particular incident we were talking about was when she was forbidden from going to a dance (I think we were juniors at this time), and I asked her if she had learned her lesson from it. She said "no, but if they had taken my car away I sure would have started paying attention."
So moral of the story is: you just need to find what matters to them. My friend didn't really give a crap about going to the dance, but she loved having the freedom to drive around as she pleased and not have Mom and Dad drop her off everywhere, so that would have gotten more attention. Likewise, maybe your son doesn't care if you spank him but he'll start listening when you take his Wii away. Maybe your daughter is unaffected by timeout but would pay attention if you stopped her from going to a few birthday parties. Tell them you'll do something and then do it if they don't stop. Once they know you're serious they'll start listening to your strict voice.
If timeouts and spankings don't work, here are some ideas:
Take away their possessions one by one and make them earn them back. I'm sure they have plenty of toys and clothes - hell, if they keep it up long enough you can take away their bed.
Cut their allowance.
Cut their privileges - dessert, TV time, video game time, parties they want to go to, etc.
Give unpleasant chores - nasty, hard, tedious, etc. One thing that worked really well for one of my sons was making him clean out the kitty litter with his bare hands.
Honestly, a lot of times it can turn into a test of wills - the key is that you need to win decisively. Let's stage an example:
You: "OK, it's bedtime, let's go."
Son: "No, I wanna stay up."
You: "No, you need to go to bed now. I want you in your PJs in 5 minutes or you're going to bed (30 minutes earlier) tomorrow night."
(5 minutes pass, your son is still in his dayclothes.) "Ok, bedtime is (e.g.) 8 tomorrow night. Let's go or I'll take away your Wii for a week."
If he doesn't go then, go ahead, take the Wii. Continue to take things away (including privileges if you want) until he gives in - he's eventually going to realize that if he continues he's going to end up with no toys, a bare mattress, no dessert, no TV, and a 6 pm bedtime. But the key is you cannot waver. He needs to see that you're steadfast. Even if he throws a tantrum just pick him up and put him in his room - he's under 10, I'm sure you can carry him. Turn off the light, close the door, and let him pitch a fit - there's no toys in there at that point, all he can do is look at the blank walls.
If he does go then, then congratulations! But make sure you stick with the earlier bedtime the next night or else he won't respect you.
When you take possessions, make sure you put them somewhere where either they can't find or access them.
Is it normal for kids to analyze a situation at 10 months?
Kareem
My son dropped a toy under the table and it rolled kind of far, he reached down and couldnt touch it. He then stepped back and walked to the other side of the table where he could easily reach the toy and grabbed it. It seemed as if he thought about the best way to get it. Side not: He started walking at 8 months and shows unusual interest in electronic devices.
Answer
probably is a gifted child
test is iq
if he started walking at that age he probably as a higher iq then normal
probably is a gifted child
test is iq
if he started walking at that age he probably as a higher iq then normal
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