mommy+2
I have a three month old and a two year old and wanting to know how you manage your time with chores, cooking and finding time for your children. I want my house to stay presentable to guest, but I dont know how to manage my time. Help Please
Answer
My kids are pretty much the same age as your - I have found that the best way to keep up is to just stay on top of things. Here's an example of my typical day:
5:30 (ish) - Wake up, shower, get dressed, start some laundry, have breakfast or a cup of tea while reading the newspaper or a book.
7:30 (ish) - Kids wake up, I get them up, bathed, dressed, make and feed them breakfast.
After breakfast time we usually go outside and play if the weather is nice (not right now - there's a ton of snow on the ground), or we play indoors by learning or reading or just being silly. I've been working with my two year old on her letters, colors, shapes, animals, animal sounds, and different objects (tree, grass, flower, sky, ect...).
During the morning time I also do some housework like finishing up laundry and cleaning if my daughter is pretty absorbed in playing something (the baby doesn't do much so she just hangs out on the play mat or in her playpen looking at colorful toys and batting at toys).
I then play with the kids a little more or we go for a walk.
I either make lunch for the kids or we pack a lunch and go meet my husband at work for lunch and eat with him.
After lunch, we run errands if needed, buy groceries, go to the park, to the library, for a walk , or to playgroup or other community activities for kids, or we just stay home and play outside or inside or read some more, do some learning activities, ect.
During the afternoon I usually finish up housework. My 2 year old daughter then goes down for her nap at 2 or 3:00, depending on her mood that day, and during this time I have a few hours to myself. During this time I finish up any remaining housework, do yardwork, spend time doing some of my hobbies (I love to scrapbook and crochet), read a book, hang out outside for awhile, and just have some ME time.
The girls wake up from their naps at around 5:00 p.m. I get them up and started on an activity of some sort while I make dinner, or sometimes I let my 2 year old "help" me make dinner...lol.
When my husband gets home at 6:30, supper is on the table, we have a nice dinner together as a family and then I clean up the supper mess, clean the kitchen, do the dishes and get all that stuff cleaned up.
We then have about 2 or 3 hours to spend together as a family and this is mostly spent playing, but occasionally we have a movie night where we put in a kid - friendly movie and make some popcorn (a fun treat at our house for our 2 year old daughter), and just have fun. I also straighten up the house a little at this time if needed.
At 8:30, it's bath time and bedtime story time and then bedtime for our girls, and then my husband and I have an hour or two to spend together just the two of us before we go to bed for the night.
It's all about just staying on top of things and not letting stuff pile up. Do a little here and there - let your two year old "help" you and yes play with them, but also let them play on their own a little bit so that you can get your work done too. If you straighten up the house at night after the kids are in bed, then it will be clean in the morning and then just keep on top of it during the day - throw in a load of laundry here and there, pick up the house as it becomes messy, do the dishes when your kids are involved in something, do the deep cleaning during nap time. You'll find that it's easy if you just keep on top of things! Give it a try - it sounds impossible - but it's not. It took me awhile to figure it out too - but don't worry, you'll find a groove that works for you - just stick with it!
My kids are pretty much the same age as your - I have found that the best way to keep up is to just stay on top of things. Here's an example of my typical day:
5:30 (ish) - Wake up, shower, get dressed, start some laundry, have breakfast or a cup of tea while reading the newspaper or a book.
7:30 (ish) - Kids wake up, I get them up, bathed, dressed, make and feed them breakfast.
After breakfast time we usually go outside and play if the weather is nice (not right now - there's a ton of snow on the ground), or we play indoors by learning or reading or just being silly. I've been working with my two year old on her letters, colors, shapes, animals, animal sounds, and different objects (tree, grass, flower, sky, ect...).
During the morning time I also do some housework like finishing up laundry and cleaning if my daughter is pretty absorbed in playing something (the baby doesn't do much so she just hangs out on the play mat or in her playpen looking at colorful toys and batting at toys).
I then play with the kids a little more or we go for a walk.
I either make lunch for the kids or we pack a lunch and go meet my husband at work for lunch and eat with him.
After lunch, we run errands if needed, buy groceries, go to the park, to the library, for a walk , or to playgroup or other community activities for kids, or we just stay home and play outside or inside or read some more, do some learning activities, ect.
During the afternoon I usually finish up housework. My 2 year old daughter then goes down for her nap at 2 or 3:00, depending on her mood that day, and during this time I have a few hours to myself. During this time I finish up any remaining housework, do yardwork, spend time doing some of my hobbies (I love to scrapbook and crochet), read a book, hang out outside for awhile, and just have some ME time.
The girls wake up from their naps at around 5:00 p.m. I get them up and started on an activity of some sort while I make dinner, or sometimes I let my 2 year old "help" me make dinner...lol.
When my husband gets home at 6:30, supper is on the table, we have a nice dinner together as a family and then I clean up the supper mess, clean the kitchen, do the dishes and get all that stuff cleaned up.
We then have about 2 or 3 hours to spend together as a family and this is mostly spent playing, but occasionally we have a movie night where we put in a kid - friendly movie and make some popcorn (a fun treat at our house for our 2 year old daughter), and just have fun. I also straighten up the house a little at this time if needed.
At 8:30, it's bath time and bedtime story time and then bedtime for our girls, and then my husband and I have an hour or two to spend together just the two of us before we go to bed for the night.
It's all about just staying on top of things and not letting stuff pile up. Do a little here and there - let your two year old "help" you and yes play with them, but also let them play on their own a little bit so that you can get your work done too. If you straighten up the house at night after the kids are in bed, then it will be clean in the morning and then just keep on top of it during the day - throw in a load of laundry here and there, pick up the house as it becomes messy, do the dishes when your kids are involved in something, do the deep cleaning during nap time. You'll find that it's easy if you just keep on top of things! Give it a try - it sounds impossible - but it's not. It took me awhile to figure it out too - but don't worry, you'll find a groove that works for you - just stick with it!
What can I do about my bossy (almost) 7 year old?
Q. Before I go any further, I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for asking this. "Why did you have kids in the first place?" and blah blah blah. I'm not asking for the rude responses. I would like some suggestions on how to curb this behavior.
I know being bossy is 'normal' but I'm really starting to get sick of hearing my daughter bossing her younger brother around. He's only 3. She's constantly yelling at him "DON'T PLAY WITH MY TOYS!" "DON'T GO IN MY ROOM" "DON'T GO IN THE KITCHEN" and other nonsense. I keep telling her that if she doesn't want him to play with her toys, then she needs to put them away. If she doesn't want him in her room, then she needs to close her door. So on, and so forth. I'm constantly telling her that she isn't his mother, so she doesn't need to hound him like that. On top of that, she's constantly tattle-tailing on him. As soon as he drops his pants to use the toilet, she's yelling "MOM, HE'S PULLING HIS PANTS DOWN!" or if I give him permission to go in the fridge to get a Go-Gurt or a Capri Sun, she's running to me to tell me what he's doing.
I do not leave my kids in one room while I am in another, unless I am in the bathroom. They are always where I can see them, so I know exactly what my son is doing. My daughter knows this. I have even caught her whispering in his ear that if he goes next to the TV, then the boogeyman will jump out and bite his hands off, just so he doesn't try to turn the TV off on her. I am seriously at my wits end over this.
Any suggestions on how I can curb this behavior? Time-outs don't work for her. She's in time-out still snitching and bossing him around- "GET me some tissues. GET me a drink." etc. Help please!!!
Massy- why would I beat my son? He's not the one doing anything wrong in 90% of the time. Besides, beating doesn't solve anything. I am not going to physically strike any of my kids for this.
Abel- I do believe in spankings, but not over something like this. It's not going to teach her anything. In our household, we reserve spankings for more serious things, and they are few and far between. And if I spank over this, she's going to easily be spanked 20 times or more.
Cloud Rose- He knows that there is no boogeyman. The funny thing is, he only shuts off the TV when she's bossing him around excessively. He tries to stand up for himself by saying "You are not my mother!". I have taken things away from her- her dolls, access to the Wii, no disneychannel.com, etc. She's just so stubborn and strong-willed. I just don't know how to deal with this logically anymore.
Damonem- would you mind emailing me or YIMing me? You bring up a lot of good points, but I would like to go into further discussion, if you will, over some things. You seem to have a lot of knowledge about this and I would like some more insight. Thank you :)
I know being bossy is 'normal' but I'm really starting to get sick of hearing my daughter bossing her younger brother around. He's only 3. She's constantly yelling at him "DON'T PLAY WITH MY TOYS!" "DON'T GO IN MY ROOM" "DON'T GO IN THE KITCHEN" and other nonsense. I keep telling her that if she doesn't want him to play with her toys, then she needs to put them away. If she doesn't want him in her room, then she needs to close her door. So on, and so forth. I'm constantly telling her that she isn't his mother, so she doesn't need to hound him like that. On top of that, she's constantly tattle-tailing on him. As soon as he drops his pants to use the toilet, she's yelling "MOM, HE'S PULLING HIS PANTS DOWN!" or if I give him permission to go in the fridge to get a Go-Gurt or a Capri Sun, she's running to me to tell me what he's doing.
I do not leave my kids in one room while I am in another, unless I am in the bathroom. They are always where I can see them, so I know exactly what my son is doing. My daughter knows this. I have even caught her whispering in his ear that if he goes next to the TV, then the boogeyman will jump out and bite his hands off, just so he doesn't try to turn the TV off on her. I am seriously at my wits end over this.
Any suggestions on how I can curb this behavior? Time-outs don't work for her. She's in time-out still snitching and bossing him around- "GET me some tissues. GET me a drink." etc. Help please!!!
Massy- why would I beat my son? He's not the one doing anything wrong in 90% of the time. Besides, beating doesn't solve anything. I am not going to physically strike any of my kids for this.
Abel- I do believe in spankings, but not over something like this. It's not going to teach her anything. In our household, we reserve spankings for more serious things, and they are few and far between. And if I spank over this, she's going to easily be spanked 20 times or more.
Cloud Rose- He knows that there is no boogeyman. The funny thing is, he only shuts off the TV when she's bossing him around excessively. He tries to stand up for himself by saying "You are not my mother!". I have taken things away from her- her dolls, access to the Wii, no disneychannel.com, etc. She's just so stubborn and strong-willed. I just don't know how to deal with this logically anymore.
Damonem- would you mind emailing me or YIMing me? You bring up a lot of good points, but I would like to go into further discussion, if you will, over some things. You seem to have a lot of knowledge about this and I would like some more insight. Thank you :)
Answer
(Reads over your inquiry and hangs head) one thing that you need to keep in mind is that the purpose of time-out is to forestall the advent of an explosive situation where a kid is about to lose control; what you are facing with your daughter is not that scenario, compadre. What I think is the greatest danger here is that your frustration building beyond your ability to contain it and doing something terrible that is almost irreversible for no good reason without actually solving the problem.
Considering the frequency of this kind of behavior, surely by now you have picked up on a pattern that offers insight as to whether or not this is going to occur. If I were the family government, I would take the kid aside for some »female bonding« that consists of some time-consuming chore around the house or perhaps assisting you in the kitchen with making cookies or something. This is excellent for when this kid is watching TV when she bosses around her kid brother.
Another countermeasure I would consider if I were you is to give your daughter a taste of her own medicine. Get up from the computer and start barking all kinds of orders at your daughter the same way that she has done to your son; try for at least ten different orders within 60 seconds' time. Keep that up for about ten minutes; a few sessions of cadet-and-drill sergeant should give your daughter pause whenever she feels the need to boss around her kid brother.
Yet another countermeasure to attempt is to spend one-on-one time with the 3 y/o using the 7 y/o's toys; if the 7 y/o gets too obstreperous over the whole thing, the 3 y/o has some hand-me-down toys courtesy of his big sister (^_^).
Before I began typing my reply, there was a response that recommended taking your bare-bottomed daughter over your lap and spanking her. I am not so sure about that considering that you are rather frustrated at your daughter who seems to have taken your inaction to mean that her conduct is okay. Spanking only makes sense if the parent is willing to demonstrate a profound change in family government related to something dangerous a kid is doing to himself or another kid in terms of physical danger or if there is a harsh criminal punishment attached to her misconduct; as annoying as your daughter's drill-sergeant routine on her kid brother is, I do not really think that it meets the aforementioned requirements.
If your daughter challenges you on the hand-me-down toys response and it looks like she is going to do more than merely bark orders at her brother, time-out or even spanking would make sense at that moment. Remember, both of those tactics are to FORESTALL an escalating situation rather than extinguishing it after the fact.
One final thought -- it seems like your daughter wishes to have something to control in her life; seriously consider analyzing your household and daily life for the »small stuff« that are comical at worst if mismanaged by your daughter (along with her kid brother when he gets into that neighborhood). Exempli gratia, when the time comes around for a proactive injection in the doctor's office, allow your daughter to decide where she is to be given the needle and how she wants to deal with the pain. If there is to be an outing, set the stage the night before for your daughter to decide what she wants to wear (within reason, of course!!!) so that the kid feels that the outing is being done with her rather than unto her. Between the absolute »no-no's« and »have to's« of life is a gray area where a kid can exercise some discretion with the right kind of family government; capitalize upon it!!!
Also, forego the TV as the main means of entertainment and converge on board games and card games where everybody can take part. Your child relatives might have to bust a move at the poker or blackjack table someday; teach them the mechanics of those games so that they win the whole pot . . . just kidding!!! Still, negotiating for a fair day's pay or for vacation time is a lot like playing poker or blackjack in that there are crucial mechanics that have to be dexterously exploited if there is to be a euphoric epilogue. What are you waiting for!?! Get going, compadre; that's an order!!!
(Reads over your inquiry and hangs head) one thing that you need to keep in mind is that the purpose of time-out is to forestall the advent of an explosive situation where a kid is about to lose control; what you are facing with your daughter is not that scenario, compadre. What I think is the greatest danger here is that your frustration building beyond your ability to contain it and doing something terrible that is almost irreversible for no good reason without actually solving the problem.
Considering the frequency of this kind of behavior, surely by now you have picked up on a pattern that offers insight as to whether or not this is going to occur. If I were the family government, I would take the kid aside for some »female bonding« that consists of some time-consuming chore around the house or perhaps assisting you in the kitchen with making cookies or something. This is excellent for when this kid is watching TV when she bosses around her kid brother.
Another countermeasure I would consider if I were you is to give your daughter a taste of her own medicine. Get up from the computer and start barking all kinds of orders at your daughter the same way that she has done to your son; try for at least ten different orders within 60 seconds' time. Keep that up for about ten minutes; a few sessions of cadet-and-drill sergeant should give your daughter pause whenever she feels the need to boss around her kid brother.
Yet another countermeasure to attempt is to spend one-on-one time with the 3 y/o using the 7 y/o's toys; if the 7 y/o gets too obstreperous over the whole thing, the 3 y/o has some hand-me-down toys courtesy of his big sister (^_^).
Before I began typing my reply, there was a response that recommended taking your bare-bottomed daughter over your lap and spanking her. I am not so sure about that considering that you are rather frustrated at your daughter who seems to have taken your inaction to mean that her conduct is okay. Spanking only makes sense if the parent is willing to demonstrate a profound change in family government related to something dangerous a kid is doing to himself or another kid in terms of physical danger or if there is a harsh criminal punishment attached to her misconduct; as annoying as your daughter's drill-sergeant routine on her kid brother is, I do not really think that it meets the aforementioned requirements.
If your daughter challenges you on the hand-me-down toys response and it looks like she is going to do more than merely bark orders at her brother, time-out or even spanking would make sense at that moment. Remember, both of those tactics are to FORESTALL an escalating situation rather than extinguishing it after the fact.
One final thought -- it seems like your daughter wishes to have something to control in her life; seriously consider analyzing your household and daily life for the »small stuff« that are comical at worst if mismanaged by your daughter (along with her kid brother when he gets into that neighborhood). Exempli gratia, when the time comes around for a proactive injection in the doctor's office, allow your daughter to decide where she is to be given the needle and how she wants to deal with the pain. If there is to be an outing, set the stage the night before for your daughter to decide what she wants to wear (within reason, of course!!!) so that the kid feels that the outing is being done with her rather than unto her. Between the absolute »no-no's« and »have to's« of life is a gray area where a kid can exercise some discretion with the right kind of family government; capitalize upon it!!!
Also, forego the TV as the main means of entertainment and converge on board games and card games where everybody can take part. Your child relatives might have to bust a move at the poker or blackjack table someday; teach them the mechanics of those games so that they win the whole pot . . . just kidding!!! Still, negotiating for a fair day's pay or for vacation time is a lot like playing poker or blackjack in that there are crucial mechanics that have to be dexterously exploited if there is to be a euphoric epilogue. What are you waiting for!?! Get going, compadre; that's an order!!!
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