JustMeNmyB
I am just trying to understand my 3 year old. Anyone else have a child like this one? So I had my son when I was 17 years old. I gradutaed from high school, and I am in college. We live on our own, and I work 30 hours per week. Doing pretty well for ourselves! I do the best I can, sometimes I feel it is not enough. I take my son to the library 3 times a week after preschool and read with him. He enjoys reading. He listens well. If I tell him to do something, he says, "okay mommy". I go to the daycare to pick him up, and when I ask how is day was, "they say perfect.all of the time". I mean he plays like other children, but he is very independent. I watch him sometime in school and he likes to discover things in the classroom on his own. He sits still during storytime. He likes speaking spanish. (i watch Go diego Go with him) I tell him something, and he remembers it. Lately, we did some scenarios on: Hi how are you? Fine thank you, how are you?. He says it so perfect. He is polite and I get nothing but compliments about him and his manners. The only issue is that, many kids in his classroom are not necessarily bad, but wild, and all over the place. They have temper tantrums, sometimes they push on him, and he will just cry. I mean of course I don't want him to hit other childre, but I just tell him to say, "That's not nice. I don't like it. Please do not do that." and tell the teacher. He is very sensitive. His school is pretty good, but the parents of the children don't seem to have a grip on their children. (NOT TO SAY EVERY CHILD IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE MINE)...I just want to know, when it gets time for pre-k, should I consider private schools, or public? It makes me a little nervous. Also if I am in college with financial assistance, would I be able to get financial assistance for my son's tuitiion? Private schools in my area re $22,000 for pre-k! Boston!
I notice that people replying are thinking I would like to send my son to a private school to avoid bullying. No. Not the case. My kid is not perfect as I did clarify orginally for that idiot who said that they get concerned. Get a grip. I went to public schools and noticed that 3/4 of the time, teachers spent class time sending kids to the office. I never learned anything. Anybody from the Boston area would know that Boston Public Schools are the worst!Kids getting shot, etc. All I am saying is that my son enjoys learning, and I would like him to be in an environment where other children enjoy learning as well. Of course there will be kids with problems. AGAIN, MY KID IS NOT PERFECT!..I mean I could try public, I'm not against any ideas as you can see. I am on here for ideas and suggesstions, not criticism of my kid! And i already mentioned that I help him deal with bad kids appropriately. Not hitting. He will understand because I talk with him A LOT, he is very smart. No bad comments
Answer
Your son sounds a lot like my son was at that age. He's an easy going sensitive kid, which I find that very often the smartest kids are. He taught himself to read at 2, and by 3 he was reading what they read at his private K - 8 in 1st grade, and the school had an extremely rigorous curriculum. We didn't encourage it, because he was very premature, so we didn't want to stress him, but he just loved to read. In preschool he didn't understand when other kids wanted to grab his toys, his attitude was Well, OK, but can't you see there are a zillion other toys around here?! But, if you really want mine..... If he really liked the toy, he'd just keep walking away from the other kid. Being an only child, he didn't understand being mean, like some kids were. Luckily he was in a great developmental preschool that didn't go for bad behavior, the teachers taught the children how to behave, as that is the main purpose of preschool -- learning appropriate social behavior for K. My son did learn how to stand up for himself, like most kids do, and the smarter kids are great with their mouths. But no fighting, that's so low class. He's now a teen, the nicest, happiest kid around, still the at the top in his class, very popular with his peers, and the girls all like him because he's nice (and cute).
Hey, in part I did send my kid to private school to avoid bullying - and all the other problems that are far more rampant in public schools! Lots of parents send their kids to private school for the nicer environment. But we chose private mainly because they weren't going to teach reading until the end of K at the local public school (really great for a public school, literally one of the highest ranking in the state), and they said they'd send him to another grade for reading and math, and I didn't think that was a great idea, especially socially. Also, I was concerned he might grow bored, and act out. The private school had a much more rigorous curriculum and it was the best fit for my son.
While some private schools are crappy, a good private school is better than a good public school, the standardized test scores show that clearly. My dh participates in the admissions process for his Ivy alma mater and he speaks to kids who are 1st in their class at *good* public schools, 4.+ gpa, yet scored 1500 on the SAT (national average, at my son's school the avg is 2000+), 1s and 2s (out of 5) on their AP tests, and their writing is not really at a high school level. Private schools choose their students, so obviously, they are going to admit kids who will do well and not be trouble, especially in high school, when it's easier to tell than admitting in K. Most private schools in big cities like Boston, LA, NY, Chicago, get many applications per space. The most important things they look for are ability to do the work and Good Behavior, doesn't matter how much money the parent has, it's not worth the problems! It's very easy to get kicked out of private school, which makes the parents more likely to monitor the behavior of their kid, since they will still have to pay the whole year's tuition even if their kid is kicked out in Sept.
There may be some good public schools in your area, you should go and take a look and speak to parents. Also, there may be magnet or charter schools that are good. (Some are really bad, so you have to check.) Public school ratings: http://www.greatschools.org/
There tends not to be as much financial aid in K - 8 as there is in high school. The best thing you can do is apply and see what happens. Often the most expensive schools have the most aid available, but also the most applications per space. You would likely qualify financially, they might want to know about the father, being a student is fine since you're also working. (If someone is married and one parent is a student, they may assign an income to that parent for figuring financial aid, since attending school is a choice.) Some schools may also allow you to work off part of the tuition. Most good private schools have more applications than they have spaces, especially in places where the public schools are low rated, so apply early and attend all of the functions to find out more about the schools and to meet the staff.
In my area, a lot of non-Catholic kids attend Catholic schools because they are much cheaper than non-religious private schools. Our private schools cost about the same as in Boston, but some small Catholic schools start off at $4000 a year, in nice areas.
http://www.privateschoolreview.com/state_private_schools/stateid/MA
Good luck!
Your son sounds a lot like my son was at that age. He's an easy going sensitive kid, which I find that very often the smartest kids are. He taught himself to read at 2, and by 3 he was reading what they read at his private K - 8 in 1st grade, and the school had an extremely rigorous curriculum. We didn't encourage it, because he was very premature, so we didn't want to stress him, but he just loved to read. In preschool he didn't understand when other kids wanted to grab his toys, his attitude was Well, OK, but can't you see there are a zillion other toys around here?! But, if you really want mine..... If he really liked the toy, he'd just keep walking away from the other kid. Being an only child, he didn't understand being mean, like some kids were. Luckily he was in a great developmental preschool that didn't go for bad behavior, the teachers taught the children how to behave, as that is the main purpose of preschool -- learning appropriate social behavior for K. My son did learn how to stand up for himself, like most kids do, and the smarter kids are great with their mouths. But no fighting, that's so low class. He's now a teen, the nicest, happiest kid around, still the at the top in his class, very popular with his peers, and the girls all like him because he's nice (and cute).
Hey, in part I did send my kid to private school to avoid bullying - and all the other problems that are far more rampant in public schools! Lots of parents send their kids to private school for the nicer environment. But we chose private mainly because they weren't going to teach reading until the end of K at the local public school (really great for a public school, literally one of the highest ranking in the state), and they said they'd send him to another grade for reading and math, and I didn't think that was a great idea, especially socially. Also, I was concerned he might grow bored, and act out. The private school had a much more rigorous curriculum and it was the best fit for my son.
While some private schools are crappy, a good private school is better than a good public school, the standardized test scores show that clearly. My dh participates in the admissions process for his Ivy alma mater and he speaks to kids who are 1st in their class at *good* public schools, 4.+ gpa, yet scored 1500 on the SAT (national average, at my son's school the avg is 2000+), 1s and 2s (out of 5) on their AP tests, and their writing is not really at a high school level. Private schools choose their students, so obviously, they are going to admit kids who will do well and not be trouble, especially in high school, when it's easier to tell than admitting in K. Most private schools in big cities like Boston, LA, NY, Chicago, get many applications per space. The most important things they look for are ability to do the work and Good Behavior, doesn't matter how much money the parent has, it's not worth the problems! It's very easy to get kicked out of private school, which makes the parents more likely to monitor the behavior of their kid, since they will still have to pay the whole year's tuition even if their kid is kicked out in Sept.
There may be some good public schools in your area, you should go and take a look and speak to parents. Also, there may be magnet or charter schools that are good. (Some are really bad, so you have to check.) Public school ratings: http://www.greatschools.org/
There tends not to be as much financial aid in K - 8 as there is in high school. The best thing you can do is apply and see what happens. Often the most expensive schools have the most aid available, but also the most applications per space. You would likely qualify financially, they might want to know about the father, being a student is fine since you're also working. (If someone is married and one parent is a student, they may assign an income to that parent for figuring financial aid, since attending school is a choice.) Some schools may also allow you to work off part of the tuition. Most good private schools have more applications than they have spaces, especially in places where the public schools are low rated, so apply early and attend all of the functions to find out more about the schools and to meet the staff.
In my area, a lot of non-Catholic kids attend Catholic schools because they are much cheaper than non-religious private schools. Our private schools cost about the same as in Boston, but some small Catholic schools start off at $4000 a year, in nice areas.
http://www.privateschoolreview.com/state_private_schools/stateid/MA
Good luck!
Angry 3 year old, any suggestions?
zucchinifr
My 3 year old son seems to have a hard time playing with kids his own age. He gets angry when they invade his space of play or want the toy he is playing with. If he gets frustrated during play he throws his toys, I mean anytime he is angry he throws and breaks things. He also likes to scream at the top of his lungs when he is mad, and it does not take much for him to get mad. He is an only child and lives an otherwise nice life. Is this normal behavior, should I be concerned and are there any ideas on how I can control these outbursts? Time-out, reward charts and taking his toys away have all worn out there duties, he is very smart and these techniques just do not work any more. Thanks!
Answer
I have had an angry 3 year old. They can be hard to handle.
You need to be firm with him though, to let him know that it will NOT be tolerated.
What do you do when he screams? Rush to him and try to fix whatever the problem is? If so, then do the opposite. Totally ignore him, turn around, and walk away.
If he is doing it and getting your attention, even if it is upset attention, then change your reactions, and just walk away. don't even talk to him.
If you can catch him about to start, you can catch his eye, jerk him around (gently, of course), to look at you some, and give him a good glare, saying "No." Say it in a 'dangerous' tone. I mean, your whole body language has to change to threatening, to make it firm enough for him to listen.
Offer alternatives instead, ways to deal with his anger that ARE appropriate. Tell him how you deal with your anger. Anger can be a hard emotion to get a handle on sometimes, and at 3 they are just now learning this.
If you help him through it respectfully, your relationship will be better for it in the long run.
Could it be a combination of not just anger, but also pent up energy? Is he running around enough? Exercise might help him too.
Good luck.
I have had an angry 3 year old. They can be hard to handle.
You need to be firm with him though, to let him know that it will NOT be tolerated.
What do you do when he screams? Rush to him and try to fix whatever the problem is? If so, then do the opposite. Totally ignore him, turn around, and walk away.
If he is doing it and getting your attention, even if it is upset attention, then change your reactions, and just walk away. don't even talk to him.
If you can catch him about to start, you can catch his eye, jerk him around (gently, of course), to look at you some, and give him a good glare, saying "No." Say it in a 'dangerous' tone. I mean, your whole body language has to change to threatening, to make it firm enough for him to listen.
Offer alternatives instead, ways to deal with his anger that ARE appropriate. Tell him how you deal with your anger. Anger can be a hard emotion to get a handle on sometimes, and at 3 they are just now learning this.
If you help him through it respectfully, your relationship will be better for it in the long run.
Could it be a combination of not just anger, but also pent up energy? Is he running around enough? Exercise might help him too.
Good luck.
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