Mom to Lea
My folks live a little over an hour away and come to see my kids who are 3.5 and 10 months about twice a month. My kids are crazy about them, especially my 3.5 year old son. My mom loves shopping Goodwill, garage sales, etc. and is always bringing some little trinket or toy. So now when she comes through the door, he is checking her bag to see what she brought him. Let me add he is a really sweet kid and never throws a fit demanding stuff (well at least not yet, knock on wood). But I still wonder if its setting a bad example that he expects something, or if its just fun for him and Nana and to leave it alone?
Chase's mom-my mom was the one who announced she would bring a toy everytime, even though I told her he loves her for her and she doesn't need to. I have told him she doesn't have to bring him a toy. And he does love playing with my folks, he is all over them when they are here, its not like give me a toy and go away. But he does get excited to see what she's brought him. Its usually something like a little matchbox car she got for a quarter.
Answer
I do the same thing with my grandson.....he has a toy box at my house, and I periodically add a new toy so there is usually something new for him to see when he visits.
And when I visit I usually have something I picked up for him, but I do not give it to him as soon as I walk through the door. I visit for a while first, and then give him my gift.
Maybe you could just have your son wait for a while, so his focus is on your mom, rather than what she brought.
It's hard to resist when you have grand kids, you are out shopping, and see something cute that you know the child would like. :o)
I do the same thing with my grandson.....he has a toy box at my house, and I periodically add a new toy so there is usually something new for him to see when he visits.
And when I visit I usually have something I picked up for him, but I do not give it to him as soon as I walk through the door. I visit for a while first, and then give him my gift.
Maybe you could just have your son wait for a while, so his focus is on your mom, rather than what she brought.
It's hard to resist when you have grand kids, you are out shopping, and see something cute that you know the child would like. :o)
3.5 year old resitant to toilet training?
Leah S
My 3.5 year old is a very stubborn, independant, obsessive child, who absolutely refuses to be toilet trained. He does not want to sit on the potty, even with clothes on, and with every bribe in the book. I try not to let him know that i am frustrated, but the school year is coming up soon, and they don't take kids who are still in diapers. I think he feels safe in his diapers - and I know that he really hates change. Any ideas?
Answer
Wow at 3.5 he knows what he is doing. It seems as though it is more of a power struggle than anything else. He knows that he has the upper hand in this but that needs to change. Take him to the dr and rule out any med issues. If he is healthy it's time to get tough mom. Tell him that he needs to start using the potty. Do not ask him. Stand firm. If he wants to do big boy things ( go outside and play, attend b-day parties, have big boy toys, watch t.v. etc) then he needs to be a big boy and go potty. If he refuses don't give him an ultimatum! Just tell him "Mommy is sorry! I thought that you were ready to be a big boy. If you're not ready than that's okay." Don't freak out. It's a set-up! Take away his big boy toys and give him back his baby toys. Don't let him have juice, candy, or big boy snacks instead give him milk or water only to drink and boring foods. Absolutely no Mc Donalds! Take him to the store and make him sit in the cart, no walking at all. Walk down the big boy toy aisle "by mistake" and when he says "oooh mom! I want that!" Just smile and say "Oh no sweetie, that's a big boy toy" then take him down the baby isle and pick up something like a soft rattle and offer to get that instead. The key is not to sound angry or tell him that he is being punished. You want him to get the message that big boys go potty and babies use pampers. Let him know that at anytime if he decides to be a big boy you will treat him as such but until then he will be taken care of and treated as a little boy and not a big one. He will get the point VERY QUICLKY! Just be consistant and DO NOT give in. He'll be potty trained before the week is out!
Wow at 3.5 he knows what he is doing. It seems as though it is more of a power struggle than anything else. He knows that he has the upper hand in this but that needs to change. Take him to the dr and rule out any med issues. If he is healthy it's time to get tough mom. Tell him that he needs to start using the potty. Do not ask him. Stand firm. If he wants to do big boy things ( go outside and play, attend b-day parties, have big boy toys, watch t.v. etc) then he needs to be a big boy and go potty. If he refuses don't give him an ultimatum! Just tell him "Mommy is sorry! I thought that you were ready to be a big boy. If you're not ready than that's okay." Don't freak out. It's a set-up! Take away his big boy toys and give him back his baby toys. Don't let him have juice, candy, or big boy snacks instead give him milk or water only to drink and boring foods. Absolutely no Mc Donalds! Take him to the store and make him sit in the cart, no walking at all. Walk down the big boy toy aisle "by mistake" and when he says "oooh mom! I want that!" Just smile and say "Oh no sweetie, that's a big boy toy" then take him down the baby isle and pick up something like a soft rattle and offer to get that instead. The key is not to sound angry or tell him that he is being punished. You want him to get the message that big boys go potty and babies use pampers. Let him know that at anytime if he decides to be a big boy you will treat him as such but until then he will be taken care of and treated as a little boy and not a big one. He will get the point VERY QUICLKY! Just be consistant and DO NOT give in. He'll be potty trained before the week is out!
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